...
so I'm now into my second full week of being back in full-time employment.
And although I was really good over the summer and didn't have great big long lie-ins until the afternoon or spend all day drinking and play-station-ing or blogging and got up at my normal time, I'm still utterly exhausted.
I think it comes from the fact that I've not been very active over the summer - now I'm walking to and from bus-stops and my job sees me running around a fair bit, too - plus, I'm learning and taking things in and having to make decisions and look after people and remember to eat and drink during the day...
my brain and body are out of shape...
I'm not even properly doing housework, let alone blogging!
Once things settle down again and my internet access at work is finished, I'll be able to do this properly again - I can blog in Word and email it home and post it at night... I certainly have plenty to ponder on...
Monday 29 October 2007
Thursday 11 October 2007
* Shocked by the Power and Stalked by the Spider
…
On Saturday, me and Hobbes joined my Mum, eldest Auntie and my sister for a wee girlie day out.
We went to the Glasgow Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum for its very first guest exhibition since reopening last year – and it couldn’t have picked a better one to start with…
http://www.glasgowmuseums.com/assets/fileStore/KYLIE_leaflet.pdf
“KYLIE: THE EXHIBITION
The exhibition explores Kylie Minogue as a popular icon and international performer. Featuring costumes, accessories, photographs and awards, sound and video, the exhibition looks at Kylie's career and changing image.
KYLIE: THE EXHIBITION also gives some insight into how a major international tour develops - from initial concept to first live performance.
200 objects including 45 costumes and 60 photographs are on display, from the overalls Kylie wore as Charlene in Neighbours and the gold lame hotpants she wore in her Spinning Around video in 2000 to costumes from her latest Kylie Showgirl: Homcoming Tour.”
[The above text was copied and pasted directly and without editing from the Glasgow.gov.uk Museums section.
Hilariously, it reads
“Lame” (laim) as in ‘pathetic’
… Rather then
“Lamé” (lah-mmay) as in ‘sparkly’
AND
It reads “hom-coming”, which given her legendary gay following is quite an interesting typo...]
Now, the obvious thing to say is just how small the stuff is, in both height and width – this is one seriously teeny tiny woman; any Barbie-doll-type action figure would not be a kick in the gold lame hotpants off actual size.
The costumes are really interesting – it’s always surprising how much detail and construction goes into costumes that are generally only seen from a distance or on TV, and it’s always funny to see ‘mechanics’ overalls looking so clean and false-patched-up, and to see the ‘Kids’ video where Robbie Williams was the higher paid ‘star’ helping out poor wee re-launching Kylie…
But weirdly enough, the most disappointing part of the whole thing is… how tacky and cheap some of the awards are.
The MTV Astronaut award thingy just looks like something my 5-year-old niece would knock up in day-care – it’s utterly tin-foil-hastily-wrapped-round-an-ornament-for-a-school-play…
And ironically, the best part wasn’t even directly a part of the exhibition.
Kelvingrove has a working pipe organ, and there are sometimes recitals when the museum is open.
This truly is a magnificent instrument; it’s beautiful and intricate and resonates throughout the building and when you are in the main hall itself when it’s being played you can actually feel it resonate through your very being.
We had not long arrived and noticed that the day’s recital was due to start in a few moments, so we decided to hold off going downstairs to the Kylie exhibition so that we could hear the start of it.
Giggling, I mentioned to the girls about how if he didn’t play “I Should Be So Lucky” (Kylie’s first hit) or “Can’t Get You Out Of My Head” (her biggest hit) then I would be gutted, and we all have a bit of a smile and a chat at how funny that would be.
So off the organist goes, beautiful, deep sounds soon filling the halls and our hearts: this is the first time we’ve heard the organ since the reopening and refurbishment.
Only… slowly it dawns on us just what we are listening to…
Waltzing Mathilda
And…
The theme tune from Neighbours (Kylie’s breakthrough TV show)
And…
I Should Be So Lucky!!!!!
On a massive magnificent pipe organ!!!
Truly, a most commendable stroke of good-humoured genius.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x
Now, the night before, I had had a bit of a headache and went to bed just after 10pm, leaving Calvin and Hobbes watching whatever was on TV.
About 15 minutes later, I had an awareness that something was going on: the living room door was opened and I could hear them talking and I heard someone rummaging about in a kitchen cupboard and the front door being unlocked and opened and closed and relocked.
Knowing Calvin, I decided that there must be a spider in the living room, and as I hate the creepy little uninvited guests [I don’t even like looking at pictures of them let alone having them in the house] he had done his usual thing of getting a cup from the kitchen, scooping the little bugger up, and throwing it out of the front door; death is only used in extreme cases (or if I get to them first).
So I turned over and went back to sleep.
Except…
Calvin came to bed about 15 minutes later, and me being me, I woke up at the sound and movement of this.
He then proceeds to tell me about the spider incident.
Yes, there had been a spider.
Yes, it was in the living room, marching across the floor right in front of the telly like it owned the bliddy place.
No, this was no ordinary retrieve and release operation.
The initial noise and movement that I had heard was actually Hobbes (who is not overly bothered by spiders) leaping up and running into her bedroom and shutting the door until it was safe to come back out, freaked out by the fact that this was – and I quote Calvin, man of a thousand spider-removal-exercises –
“the biggest effing spider I’ve ever seen”.
And he’s done a fair amount of travelling and outdoorsy stuff to know what he’s talking about.
Calvin had initially got a cup to scoop it up in.
The cup wasn’t big enough.
He had to get a JUG to fit this thing in.
And even then he couldn’t scoop it up – once he had put the jug over it, he had to get a bit of paper and slide it underneath to get the d@mn thing in.
Ooh, I am starting to itch just thinking about this…
In the morning, he showed me which jug he had used… the circumference of which is about 14 inches… so this THING, toes-to-toes, covered a circle of 14 inches…!
Seriously, draw a circle or find something that’s 14 inches round.
THAT’S FRIGGIN' HUUUUUUUGE for an in-the-house spider in the city of Glasgow…!
And then he tells me that it wasn’t just all legs… a fair proportion of this beast was body – he could make out a fair amount of detail and hair and maybe even fangs…
So this thing is immediately given the nickname ‘The Spider Of Death’.
I check and double and triple check with Calvin that it wasn’t actually an escaped exotic pet or a tropical asylum seeker that hitched a ride with the bananas into the supermarket – he maintains it was just a big old bugger, nothing unusual or special (yeah, right…)
Only now, I am becoming slightly obsessed by the fact that...
... HE SET THIS THING FREE.
The Spider Of Death could still be out there, somewhere, in my garden, in the garage, at my door, at my window, waiting for the chance to come back into the warm and dry and telly.
It could be watching me, waiting, just waiting, knowing that every new movement, every new web I see, I experience a momentary flurry of panic that The Spider Of Death has returned to claim as its own the house, the telly, everything, everything covered in its creepy crawly sticky icky web of hate and death.
Or…
It was most likely eaten by a bird or a squirrel or a fox within 12 hours of being forcibly evicted by Calvin.
I know which scenario I prefer…
On Saturday, me and Hobbes joined my Mum, eldest Auntie and my sister for a wee girlie day out.
We went to the Glasgow Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum for its very first guest exhibition since reopening last year – and it couldn’t have picked a better one to start with…
http://www.glasgowmuseums.com/assets/fileStore/KYLIE_leaflet.pdf
“KYLIE: THE EXHIBITION
The exhibition explores Kylie Minogue as a popular icon and international performer. Featuring costumes, accessories, photographs and awards, sound and video, the exhibition looks at Kylie's career and changing image.
KYLIE: THE EXHIBITION also gives some insight into how a major international tour develops - from initial concept to first live performance.
200 objects including 45 costumes and 60 photographs are on display, from the overalls Kylie wore as Charlene in Neighbours and the gold lame hotpants she wore in her Spinning Around video in 2000 to costumes from her latest Kylie Showgirl: Homcoming Tour.”
[The above text was copied and pasted directly and without editing from the Glasgow.gov.uk Museums section.
Hilariously, it reads
“Lame” (laim) as in ‘pathetic’
… Rather then
“Lamé” (lah-mmay) as in ‘sparkly’
AND
It reads “hom-coming”, which given her legendary gay following is quite an interesting typo...]
Now, the obvious thing to say is just how small the stuff is, in both height and width – this is one seriously teeny tiny woman; any Barbie-doll-type action figure would not be a kick in the gold lame hotpants off actual size.
The costumes are really interesting – it’s always surprising how much detail and construction goes into costumes that are generally only seen from a distance or on TV, and it’s always funny to see ‘mechanics’ overalls looking so clean and false-patched-up, and to see the ‘Kids’ video where Robbie Williams was the higher paid ‘star’ helping out poor wee re-launching Kylie…
But weirdly enough, the most disappointing part of the whole thing is… how tacky and cheap some of the awards are.
The MTV Astronaut award thingy just looks like something my 5-year-old niece would knock up in day-care – it’s utterly tin-foil-hastily-wrapped-round-an-ornament-for-a-school-play…
And ironically, the best part wasn’t even directly a part of the exhibition.
Kelvingrove has a working pipe organ, and there are sometimes recitals when the museum is open.
This truly is a magnificent instrument; it’s beautiful and intricate and resonates throughout the building and when you are in the main hall itself when it’s being played you can actually feel it resonate through your very being.
We had not long arrived and noticed that the day’s recital was due to start in a few moments, so we decided to hold off going downstairs to the Kylie exhibition so that we could hear the start of it.
Giggling, I mentioned to the girls about how if he didn’t play “I Should Be So Lucky” (Kylie’s first hit) or “Can’t Get You Out Of My Head” (her biggest hit) then I would be gutted, and we all have a bit of a smile and a chat at how funny that would be.
So off the organist goes, beautiful, deep sounds soon filling the halls and our hearts: this is the first time we’ve heard the organ since the reopening and refurbishment.
Only… slowly it dawns on us just what we are listening to…
Waltzing Mathilda
And…
The theme tune from Neighbours (Kylie’s breakthrough TV show)
And…
I Should Be So Lucky!!!!!
On a massive magnificent pipe organ!!!
Truly, a most commendable stroke of good-humoured genius.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x
Now, the night before, I had had a bit of a headache and went to bed just after 10pm, leaving Calvin and Hobbes watching whatever was on TV.
About 15 minutes later, I had an awareness that something was going on: the living room door was opened and I could hear them talking and I heard someone rummaging about in a kitchen cupboard and the front door being unlocked and opened and closed and relocked.
Knowing Calvin, I decided that there must be a spider in the living room, and as I hate the creepy little uninvited guests [I don’t even like looking at pictures of them let alone having them in the house] he had done his usual thing of getting a cup from the kitchen, scooping the little bugger up, and throwing it out of the front door; death is only used in extreme cases (or if I get to them first).
So I turned over and went back to sleep.
Except…
Calvin came to bed about 15 minutes later, and me being me, I woke up at the sound and movement of this.
He then proceeds to tell me about the spider incident.
Yes, there had been a spider.
Yes, it was in the living room, marching across the floor right in front of the telly like it owned the bliddy place.
No, this was no ordinary retrieve and release operation.
The initial noise and movement that I had heard was actually Hobbes (who is not overly bothered by spiders) leaping up and running into her bedroom and shutting the door until it was safe to come back out, freaked out by the fact that this was – and I quote Calvin, man of a thousand spider-removal-exercises –
“the biggest effing spider I’ve ever seen”.
And he’s done a fair amount of travelling and outdoorsy stuff to know what he’s talking about.
Calvin had initially got a cup to scoop it up in.
The cup wasn’t big enough.
He had to get a JUG to fit this thing in.
And even then he couldn’t scoop it up – once he had put the jug over it, he had to get a bit of paper and slide it underneath to get the d@mn thing in.
Ooh, I am starting to itch just thinking about this…
In the morning, he showed me which jug he had used… the circumference of which is about 14 inches… so this THING, toes-to-toes, covered a circle of 14 inches…!
Seriously, draw a circle or find something that’s 14 inches round.
THAT’S FRIGGIN' HUUUUUUUGE for an in-the-house spider in the city of Glasgow…!
And then he tells me that it wasn’t just all legs… a fair proportion of this beast was body – he could make out a fair amount of detail and hair and maybe even fangs…
So this thing is immediately given the nickname ‘The Spider Of Death’.
I check and double and triple check with Calvin that it wasn’t actually an escaped exotic pet or a tropical asylum seeker that hitched a ride with the bananas into the supermarket – he maintains it was just a big old bugger, nothing unusual or special (yeah, right…)
Only now, I am becoming slightly obsessed by the fact that...
... HE SET THIS THING FREE.
The Spider Of Death could still be out there, somewhere, in my garden, in the garage, at my door, at my window, waiting for the chance to come back into the warm and dry and telly.
It could be watching me, waiting, just waiting, knowing that every new movement, every new web I see, I experience a momentary flurry of panic that The Spider Of Death has returned to claim as its own the house, the telly, everything, everything covered in its creepy crawly sticky icky web of hate and death.
Or…
It was most likely eaten by a bird or a squirrel or a fox within 12 hours of being forcibly evicted by Calvin.
I know which scenario I prefer…
Monday 8 October 2007
* the bestest possible update
...
so yesterday was my birthday (yeah yeah, 21 again... )
And despite me telling people that I didn't want or need anything and just a card and their company would be perfect as it was all about presence and not presents, I was just spoiled rotten...!
Hobbes got me the Tenacious D movie - yay!
My wee sister got me a cowprint phone that moos instead of ringing as well as loads of other cool stuff
Via my sister and my Mum, my US rellies got me Absolut Disco - a bottle of Absolut vodka with a bottle cover made of disco ball (seriously!)
My Mum and Dad and auntie M got me money (always good)
plus there are other cards in the post which haven't arrived yet because of the postal strike
And
Calvin, knowing about my ipod disaster
http://pumpkinspider.blogspot.com/2007/09/self-pity-self-destruct.html
and fed-up with me going on about how I can't get his Monolith to work right and how I missed my own wee ipod and could he get me the charger for my mini-disc down out of the box in the loft...
Got my a brand new ipod nano video...!
And it's the lovely red one, too...!
And holy cr@p, it's just amazing - it's wee and shiny and the quality is unbelievable and oooooh...!
and...
he got me a proper arm-band doohickey to put it in for when I'm out on a plod... hint hint...
:-)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAND
I've got a new job and go back to work next week...!
:-D
If I may be so bold as to quote Ren and Stimpy...
happy happy joy joy, happy happy joy joy,
happy happy joy joy, happy happy joy joy,
happy happy joy joy, happy happy joy joy,
happy happy joy joy joy...!
so yesterday was my birthday (yeah yeah, 21 again... )
And despite me telling people that I didn't want or need anything and just a card and their company would be perfect as it was all about presence and not presents, I was just spoiled rotten...!
Hobbes got me the Tenacious D movie - yay!
My wee sister got me a cowprint phone that moos instead of ringing as well as loads of other cool stuff
Via my sister and my Mum, my US rellies got me Absolut Disco - a bottle of Absolut vodka with a bottle cover made of disco ball (seriously!)
My Mum and Dad and auntie M got me money (always good)
plus there are other cards in the post which haven't arrived yet because of the postal strike
And
Calvin, knowing about my ipod disaster
http://pumpkinspider.blogspot.com/2007/09/self-pity-self-destruct.html
and fed-up with me going on about how I can't get his Monolith to work right and how I missed my own wee ipod and could he get me the charger for my mini-disc down out of the box in the loft...
Got my a brand new ipod nano video...!
And it's the lovely red one, too...!
And holy cr@p, it's just amazing - it's wee and shiny and the quality is unbelievable and oooooh...!
and...
he got me a proper arm-band doohickey to put it in for when I'm out on a plod... hint hint...
:-)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAND
I've got a new job and go back to work next week...!
:-D
If I may be so bold as to quote Ren and Stimpy...
happy happy joy joy, happy happy joy joy,
happy happy joy joy, happy happy joy joy,
happy happy joy joy, happy happy joy joy,
happy happy joy joy joy...!
Thursday 4 October 2007
* wtf??? Leapfrogging mayor bruises tomato???
...
OK, so this was the headline on the main page of the BBC website:
"Leapfrogging mayor injures woman dressed as tomato"
HOW COULD I NOT LOOK...?
And this was the story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/7026851.stm
The whole thing is pretty funny in and of itself, but honestly, when you start to ACTUALLY think about the reality of the situation...
what does it say about the details of the incident and the injuries in her medical notes and her sick line from the doctor...?
what does it say in the accident book for her work...?
what does it say on the insurance claim form...?
what will the report from Health and Safety say...?
how much does she love her job, when she gets to dress up in ridiculous rather than glamorous outfits and get assaulted (a-salted?) (sorry) by minor dignitaries, leading to long-term absence, back injury, and humiliation on a world-wide scale thanks to the report of the whole thing appearing on the Internet...?
And possibly most importantly...
how does anyone involved with this keep a straight face...?!
OK, so this was the headline on the main page of the BBC website:
"Leapfrogging mayor injures woman dressed as tomato"
HOW COULD I NOT LOOK...?
And this was the story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/7026851.stm
The whole thing is pretty funny in and of itself, but honestly, when you start to ACTUALLY think about the reality of the situation...
what does it say about the details of the incident and the injuries in her medical notes and her sick line from the doctor...?
what does it say in the accident book for her work...?
what does it say on the insurance claim form...?
what will the report from Health and Safety say...?
how much does she love her job, when she gets to dress up in ridiculous rather than glamorous outfits and get assaulted (a-salted?) (sorry) by minor dignitaries, leading to long-term absence, back injury, and humiliation on a world-wide scale thanks to the report of the whole thing appearing on the Internet...?
And possibly most importantly...
how does anyone involved with this keep a straight face...?!
Tuesday 2 October 2007
* belly-aching carefullness
...
With regards to this article:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/south_east/7020936.stm
The summary and main points of it for me are:
"An art student who fears she was almost killed by her belly button stud in a car accident has warned about the potential dangers of body piercings. Jessica Collins' seatbelt forced the stud through her stomach almost to her spine in the crash in Munich. "
"...The lap belt has pulled so tightly that the front part of her waist was pushed up against her spine... The doctor... was fascinated from a medical point of view. He'd never seen anything like it before."
""It was a freak accident. I can't say I've ever heard of anything like this before, but for a decorative bit of jewellery, it's not worth the risk." "
For me, the key words here are FREAK ACCIDENT!!!
They admit themselves that the doctor had never seen anything like before, and I'll bet very few of us have ever seen or heard or thought about it happening before now.
I'd even go so far as to say that if it really was a real risk or if it did happen on a regular basis that it would be making the news more often, and we’d all have heard about someone who knows someone who totally had it happen to them…
AND
It would be one of those parental urban legend type warnings that are doled out as part of disapproval, along the lines of "you'll catch cold" and "you’ll get hurt” and “you’ll take someone’s eye out” and “you'll go blind"...
So I guess that if we are using the possibility of a freak accident as a basis for never doing stuff, just in case…
Then…
* Steve Irwin's freak accidental death means we can never swim in the ocean again, just in case...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/5311298.stm
* All drills should be banned, just in case... http://www.snopes.com/horrors/techno/drillbit.asp
* Fire hydrants should be removed from the streets, just in case...
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/hydrant.asp
* Molasses and beer should be banned, just in case...
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/molasses.asp
And
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/beer.asp
* Playing cards should be banned, just in case...
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/kogut.asp
* Laughing should be banned, just in case
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/laughing.asp
OK, so I’m taking it to extremes, but you get the point: you can take all the care in the world, but you just can’t legislate against plain old bad luck (you know, special circumstances and being in the right or wrong time and place).
I just can’t help but think that, yes, this girl’s intentions were basically good (publicising an unknown or little known risk)
But
It is such a REMOTE risk that other, more serious risks associated with piercing could be getting ignored:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/1748579.stm
I’m pretty sure that “you might be in a car crash where your belly piercing gets pushed into your stomach like a bullet” is going to be pretty far down any list of possible piercing problems…
* link to wee YouTube animation, and French Freedom thoughts
...
found this quite by chance and it's pretty sweet and funny
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4cP2oy4ebE
aren't people clever for coming up with and then actually creating this stuff?
It also made me remember my wee observation from the Rugby World Cup games this weekend - the neutrals (people attending the game not affiliated with either competing side) have been really good at supporting the underdog all tournament.
This meant that in Sunday's South Africa v USA game, there was a load of cheering for the 'minnows' - the USA.
Which meant that there was a load of French people cheering on the USA.
Wonder if they were serving Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast and doing any Freedom Kissing at that game...?
}:->
...
found this quite by chance and it's pretty sweet and funny
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4cP2oy4ebE
aren't people clever for coming up with and then actually creating this stuff?
It also made me remember my wee observation from the Rugby World Cup games this weekend - the neutrals (people attending the game not affiliated with either competing side) have been really good at supporting the underdog all tournament.
This meant that in Sunday's South Africa v USA game, there was a load of cheering for the 'minnows' - the USA.
Which meant that there was a load of French people cheering on the USA.
Wonder if they were serving Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast and doing any Freedom Kissing at that game...?
}:->
...
Friday 28 September 2007
* how is he not dead ??
...
Holy cr@p... check out any of the links at the bottom...
"Sixty pint beer binge leads to four-week hangover" - it's about a guy who drank an average of 15 pints a day over 4 days and then wondered why he wasn't feeling too well afterwards...
OK, so the links are just exactly the same story copied and pasted word for word onto various websites, but that means that a number of different places have picked it up and published it.
"60 pints -- roughly 35 litres -- of beer over a four day period"
Well, that's just great.
Aside from being a bit of a scientific and medical anomaly, this guy has also promoted - perpetuated - the worst image of Scotland.
Cuz, you know, it's not like anyone already thinks the Scots like a wee drink or 60...
Thanks for conforming to lazy stereotyping, mate - coming up next, an Englishman in a bowler hat will be Morris-dancing while drinking tea, and a Welshman will be coal-mining and singing in a male-voice-choir while eating leeks and fighting dragons...
One email account is enough. Simplify your life by switching other accounts into Yahoo! Mail.
Thursday 27 September 2007
* NSFW - link to funny radio broadcast clip
* wheeze *
hilarious!
both the clip and the comments...!
best be careful with that webcam, Mr Nesmith...!
http://www.holymoly.co.uk/news/28/heatworld-news-presenter-goes-into-swearing-frenzy-live-on-air-1539.html
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
On 26/09/2007, Spike Nesmith wrote:
hilarious!
both the clip and the comments...!
best be careful with that webcam, Mr Nesmith...!
http://www.holymoly.co.uk/news/28/heatworld-news-presenter-goes-into-swearing-frenzy-live-on-air-1539.html
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
On 26/09/2007, Spike Nesmith wrote:
Webcam! At my desk! Just because!
http://www.ustream.tv/channel/spikes-show
--
s. =)
"I used to say some people make money and some make history - which is very funny until you find you can't afford to keep yourself alive." - Anthony H Wilson
* a bad pun and song to stick in your head
...
http://news.yahoo.com/s/time/20070926/wl_time/amsterdamdimstheredlights;_ylt=Ao8sQS2MhW.a_wr4fqx860kDW7oF
Aaaaaaaaaaaamsterdam!
Yoo don haff to poodon the reddd lite...
(sorry)
http://news.yahoo.com/s/time/20070926/wl_time/amsterdamdimstheredlights;_ylt=Ao8sQS2MhW.a_wr4fqx860kDW7oF
Aaaaaaaaaaaamsterdam!
Yoo don haff to poodon the reddd lite...
(sorry)
Saturday 22 September 2007
* I am NOT ashamed...
...
I found this article on MSN today.
Not only am I not ashamed about liking ANY of this stuff, I own... *thinks*... most of it, probably, and even have had the number 10 entry stuck in my head since reading about it.
http://entertainment.uk.msn.com/music/features/gallery.aspx?cp-documentid=6187028
Standing up for what you believe in is nothing to be ashamed of... even if it is the right to love cheesy music...
I found this article on MSN today.
Not only am I not ashamed about liking ANY of this stuff, I own... *thinks*... most of it, probably, and even have had the number 10 entry stuck in my head since reading about it.
http://entertainment.uk.msn.com/music/features/gallery.aspx?cp-documentid=6187028
Standing up for what you believe in is nothing to be ashamed of... even if it is the right to love cheesy music...
* Iguana know how this was done...
...
Another weird news story...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7007942.stm
You KNOW you want to see pictures of that leg...
... I mean...
what kind of space did they have in there?
... how did he keep them alive for the whole journey??
... ...did it tickle...???
Those are the kind of things that really need to be answered... for me, anyway...
-x-
I must say, though - it does strike me as pretty damn funny that in the week of International Talk Like a Pirate day
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/
... there's a story about a man using his false leg (his 'peg leg', if you will) for smuggling items of value from the South Seas...
a-har har haaaaaaar...!
Another weird news story...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7007942.stm
*agog*
You KNOW you want to see pictures of that leg...
... I mean...
what kind of space did they have in there?
... how did he keep them alive for the whole journey??
... ...did it tickle...???
Those are the kind of things that really need to be answered... for me, anyway...
-x-
I must say, though - it does strike me as pretty damn funny that in the week of International Talk Like a Pirate day
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/
... there's a story about a man using his false leg (his 'peg leg', if you will) for smuggling items of value from the South Seas...
a-har har haaaaaaar...!
Wednesday 19 September 2007
* Bland, James Bland... now improved as James Blond...
...
I posted this on my brother's podcast comments this morning, but thought I would repeat it here, complete with link to the podcast itself...
http://spikenesmith.blogspot.com/2007/09/rage-machine-abortion-protests-jesus.html
enjoy...!
...
I pretty much loathe the Bond franchise.
In the same way that everyone's favourite Dr Who is usually the one that they first discover on telly when they're growing up, I grew up in the "Roger Moore as James Bond" era...
Hooooo boy, talk about ruining it...
I just couldn't get my head round how an obviously sucking in his stomach and wearing a corset, orange skinned, eyebrow raising, creaky old codger
(a) Could be considered even remotely attractive to and have lots of indiscriminate s*x with any woman he wanted at any time, as all women instantly fell in love with him, even if they seemed like they didn’t like him at first
(b) Could be even remotely considered the best spy in the whole wide world when he always uses his real name and never uses disguises at any time and is not exactly in peak condition fitness-wise
(c) Could act anywhere near well enough to make me suspend my belief sufficiently to think he was actually anywhere near any of the stunts let alone the character actually doing them
So this pretty much tainted my opinion of James Bond - even watching any of the other major franchise ones (big Seen Canary, Prince Barron off of Flash Gordon, or Remington Steele) just seemed like variations on the same old boring 'suave and sophisticated, women want him, men want to be him' theme.
BUT...
The most recent Bond is completely different.
For the first time, the character actually looks like he would keep up in a chase, and would give a pretty decent account of himself in a good old square-go, without resorting to 'ok now just pretend it's really still him' stunt trickery and editing.
The character makes mistakes, gets into bother, and seems like he would do WHATEVER it takes to get the result.
The methods are now the same - the only remaining difference between the good guys and the bad guys is what they are fighting for/ what they believe in.
Isn't that pretty much true to life these days, where one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter is another man's occupying peace-keeping dictator-toppling force...?
Even the stunts, cars, and gadgets seem more realistic – to the extent that I’m sure I heard men weeping in the cinema when he totalled the car… and we’ve all seen ‘parcour’ and free-running to know that the opening sequence is feasibly within the realms of the possible.
So I guess what I’m trying to say is – forget about all previous Bonds.
Wipe the slate clean, and see this one.
Give it a go, and only then compare it to other movies, Bond or otherwise.
Trust me.
And I made my case without even mentioning the very good and strangely attractive actor that is Daniel Craig OR the tiny blue shorts…
I posted this on my brother's podcast comments this morning, but thought I would repeat it here, complete with link to the podcast itself...
http://spikenesmith.blogspot.com/2007/09/rage-machine-abortion-protests-jesus.html
enjoy...!
...
I pretty much loathe the Bond franchise.
In the same way that everyone's favourite Dr Who is usually the one that they first discover on telly when they're growing up, I grew up in the "Roger Moore as James Bond" era...
Hooooo boy, talk about ruining it...
I just couldn't get my head round how an obviously sucking in his stomach and wearing a corset, orange skinned, eyebrow raising, creaky old codger
(a) Could be considered even remotely attractive to and have lots of indiscriminate s*x with any woman he wanted at any time, as all women instantly fell in love with him, even if they seemed like they didn’t like him at first
(b) Could be even remotely considered the best spy in the whole wide world when he always uses his real name and never uses disguises at any time and is not exactly in peak condition fitness-wise
(c) Could act anywhere near well enough to make me suspend my belief sufficiently to think he was actually anywhere near any of the stunts let alone the character actually doing them
So this pretty much tainted my opinion of James Bond - even watching any of the other major franchise ones (big Seen Canary, Prince Barron off of Flash Gordon, or Remington Steele) just seemed like variations on the same old boring 'suave and sophisticated, women want him, men want to be him' theme.
BUT...
The most recent Bond is completely different.
For the first time, the character actually looks like he would keep up in a chase, and would give a pretty decent account of himself in a good old square-go, without resorting to 'ok now just pretend it's really still him' stunt trickery and editing.
The character makes mistakes, gets into bother, and seems like he would do WHATEVER it takes to get the result.
The methods are now the same - the only remaining difference between the good guys and the bad guys is what they are fighting for/ what they believe in.
Isn't that pretty much true to life these days, where one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter is another man's occupying peace-keeping dictator-toppling force...?
Even the stunts, cars, and gadgets seem more realistic – to the extent that I’m sure I heard men weeping in the cinema when he totalled the car… and we’ve all seen ‘parcour’ and free-running to know that the opening sequence is feasibly within the realms of the possible.
So I guess what I’m trying to say is – forget about all previous Bonds.
Wipe the slate clean, and see this one.
Give it a go, and only then compare it to other movies, Bond or otherwise.
Trust me.
And I made my case without even mentioning the very good and strangely attractive actor that is Daniel Craig OR the tiny blue shorts…
Monday 17 September 2007
* belieeeeeeeve...
...
Another urban legend, only this one is true:
http://www.snopes.com/science/dhmo.asp
What a guy...!
It reminds me of the Chris Morris "cake" fake drug sketch where he got celebrities to do anti-drug messages:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0GxUxKZdHk
So just how gullible we...?
Or is it more like the Emperor's new clothes, where we jump on bandwagons to look like we're concerned and doing the right thing to avoid the appearance that we don't care and/or don't get or understand it...
:-^
...
Another urban legend, only this one is true:
http://www.snopes.com/science/dhmo.asp
What a guy...!
It reminds me of the Chris Morris "cake" fake drug sketch where he got celebrities to do anti-drug messages:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0GxUxKZdHk
So just how gullible we...?
Or is it more like the Emperor's new clothes, where we jump on bandwagons to look like we're concerned and doing the right thing to avoid the appearance that we don't care and/or don't get or understand it...
:-^
...
Saturday 15 September 2007
* tee hee pee
...
funniest. thing. ever.
again.
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/afp/20070914/tod-eu-belgium-health-cancer-7f81b96_1.html
or
http://www.eubusiness.com/Health/1189778521.38
This is the official website of the statue, and it's just as funny:
http://www.manneken-pis.com/intro.html
funniest. thing. ever.
again.
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/afp/20070914/tod-eu-belgium-health-cancer-7f81b96_1.html
or
http://www.eubusiness.com/Health/1189778521.38
This is the official website of the statue, and it's just as funny:
http://www.manneken-pis.com/intro.html
Friday 14 September 2007
* so when are you 'fat' and when are you 'curvy', exactly?
…
I’ve posted about this in 2 different places this week, so thought I should bring my comments on home, as it were.
When it comes to body shape, the Media wants to have it both ways.
On one hand they go on about the whole "size zero is too skinny, ooh it's dangerous and unnatural" stuff…
THEN
… They go on about stuff like how "huge" Britney Spears looked at the VMAs, publish article after article about celebrity cellulite and weight gain mocking how "bad" they look, week after week of fast weight-loss plans, etc in publications that can be seen and read by all ages.
On one page, curves are the new rock’n’roll and everyone loves ‘real’ women and how to dress to flatter your body shape.
2 pages later, it’s celebrity fat arse hilarity and lose half a stone by Friday.
Further in, it’s the agony aunt page full of problems with self-esteem and self-image.
Yea Gods, is it any wonder…?!
What we really need is protection from lazy and hypocritical media…!
Admittedly, Britney is no longer the well-toned high-energy dancer she once was.
And she was dressed like a cheap hooker left behind after the good ones have been bought up.
And she strolled through the routine like it was a warm-up or a rehearsal for the backing dancers.
She has, however, had 2 children.
And her tabloid-documented behaviour does not suggest a healthy lifestyle of nutrition and exercise.
BUT all of that aside…
Let’s be perfectly honest here – her body shape, compared to most women, wasn’t that bad.
Look round the office, out the window, look at those around you on the bus or train, around the mall, on the street (but don’t stare, that’s just scary)
Compare Britney’s shape to other women and I think you’ll find she’s on the healthy side of weighty.
So, can we say that she was ‘out-of-shape’? Yes.
Heavier than before? Yes.
Not as fit or toned as in previous years? Definitely.
But to describe her as fat, porky, hefty - Heck, that’s just mean and unhelpful.
What size are the people who made those comments…?
What are the rest of us supposed to feel?
If I was that ‘fat’, I’d be overjoyed…!
Wouldn’t it be great to have an honest, down-to-earth, real, objective, consistent media approach to comments on size?
I’ve posted about this in 2 different places this week, so thought I should bring my comments on home, as it were.
When it comes to body shape, the Media wants to have it both ways.
On one hand they go on about the whole "size zero is too skinny, ooh it's dangerous and unnatural" stuff…
THEN
… They go on about stuff like how "huge" Britney Spears looked at the VMAs, publish article after article about celebrity cellulite and weight gain mocking how "bad" they look, week after week of fast weight-loss plans, etc in publications that can be seen and read by all ages.
On one page, curves are the new rock’n’roll and everyone loves ‘real’ women and how to dress to flatter your body shape.
2 pages later, it’s celebrity fat arse hilarity and lose half a stone by Friday.
Further in, it’s the agony aunt page full of problems with self-esteem and self-image.
Yea Gods, is it any wonder…?!
What we really need is protection from lazy and hypocritical media…!
Admittedly, Britney is no longer the well-toned high-energy dancer she once was.
And she was dressed like a cheap hooker left behind after the good ones have been bought up.
And she strolled through the routine like it was a warm-up or a rehearsal for the backing dancers.
She has, however, had 2 children.
And her tabloid-documented behaviour does not suggest a healthy lifestyle of nutrition and exercise.
BUT all of that aside…
Let’s be perfectly honest here – her body shape, compared to most women, wasn’t that bad.
Look round the office, out the window, look at those around you on the bus or train, around the mall, on the street (but don’t stare, that’s just scary)
Compare Britney’s shape to other women and I think you’ll find she’s on the healthy side of weighty.
So, can we say that she was ‘out-of-shape’? Yes.
Heavier than before? Yes.
Not as fit or toned as in previous years? Definitely.
But to describe her as fat, porky, hefty - Heck, that’s just mean and unhelpful.
What size are the people who made those comments…?
What are the rest of us supposed to feel?
If I was that ‘fat’, I’d be overjoyed…!
Wouldn’t it be great to have an honest, down-to-earth, real, objective, consistent media approach to comments on size?
And no, I can’t believe I’m actually defending Britney either…
Links to original comments:
The BBC ‘Have Your Say’ forum debate on banning under 16 size zero models http://newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/thread.jspa?messageID=3430285&start=405&tstart=0&&edition=1&ttl=20070914150242 Added: Friday, 14 September, 2007, 09:19 GMT 10:19 UK
This one is very rude http://www.holymoly.co.uk/g/corner/the-media-38191.html
Wednesday 12 September 2007
* self-pity, self-destruct...?
...
So, last week Apple announced the revamp of the ipod nano and launched the ipod touch:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/6980451.stm
And because I have itunes, I got the email announcement and I also got a mail from Amazon about their pricing and release dates for all the new ipods
And all I can think is "...waaaaaaaaant one of eeeach...!"
I've always, always liked the wee matchbox sized Shuffle, although it did take me a while to get my head round the concept of not having full control of your music (you know, it... shuffles... that's what it does... and to be honest, I usually have my ipod on shuffle anyway...)
But I've always fancied one - small and light, ideal for commuting or for when I go out for a plod (I don't actually run or even jog all the way, plus those terms make it sound all proper and like I know what I'm doing... I just kind of plod along at various speeds for a while)
And the new nano plays videos and looks just gorgeous - all futuristic and sleek-looking and wee and 8gb
And as for the touch - oh mama, what's not to like... video, touch screen, browser, lovely lovely lovely...
And all I can think is "...waaaaaaaaant one of eeeach...!"
But I've got my wee pink ipod mini, it works fine - and I've also got a minidisk player, my phone has an mp3 player, and I've still got a tape walkman and Calvin has an mp3 player I can borrow, too.
I have NO NEED for any kind of new "plays music" doohickey, it's just want and greed for newness, pure and simple
So on the Saturday, I get ready to go out for one of my plods: trainers on, sweats on, hat to keep my hair out of my face, and running jacket, because it's kind of overcast and looks like it might spit, if not rain.
Now, I've already asked Mum the previous weekend if she has any suggestions about the pockets on my running jacket - they don't have a zip or a fastener or anything, and I'm concerned about things falling out when I'm able to run better and am focusing on that rather than on the pockets.
I've already tried the stick-on Velcro stuff, but it's so powerful that it sticks to itself and comes off the fabric.
So, last week Apple announced the revamp of the ipod nano and launched the ipod touch:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/6980451.stm
And because I have itunes, I got the email announcement and I also got a mail from Amazon about their pricing and release dates for all the new ipods
And all I can think is "...waaaaaaaaant one of eeeach...!"
I've always, always liked the wee matchbox sized Shuffle, although it did take me a while to get my head round the concept of not having full control of your music (you know, it... shuffles... that's what it does... and to be honest, I usually have my ipod on shuffle anyway...)
But I've always fancied one - small and light, ideal for commuting or for when I go out for a plod (I don't actually run or even jog all the way, plus those terms make it sound all proper and like I know what I'm doing... I just kind of plod along at various speeds for a while)
And the new nano plays videos and looks just gorgeous - all futuristic and sleek-looking and wee and 8gb
And as for the touch - oh mama, what's not to like... video, touch screen, browser, lovely lovely lovely...
And all I can think is "...waaaaaaaaant one of eeeach...!"
But I've got my wee pink ipod mini, it works fine - and I've also got a minidisk player, my phone has an mp3 player, and I've still got a tape walkman and Calvin has an mp3 player I can borrow, too.
I have NO NEED for any kind of new "plays music" doohickey, it's just want and greed for newness, pure and simple
So on the Saturday, I get ready to go out for one of my plods: trainers on, sweats on, hat to keep my hair out of my face, and running jacket, because it's kind of overcast and looks like it might spit, if not rain.
Now, I've already asked Mum the previous weekend if she has any suggestions about the pockets on my running jacket - they don't have a zip or a fastener or anything, and I'm concerned about things falling out when I'm able to run better and am focusing on that rather than on the pockets.
I've already tried the stick-on Velcro stuff, but it's so powerful that it sticks to itself and comes off the fabric.
The problem is finding a way to fasten the pocket without damaging the fabric or putting it at risk of tearing when the pocket is opened: we've not been able to come up with any real ideas to try and I'm just a wee plodder so it's not that much of a worry yet anyway.
Or is it...
I'm plodding along, 5 min brisk walk warm-up then run-walk-run-walk at 1 min intervals, and about 15 mins in, my ipod falls out of my pocket.
Now, it doesn't completely fall and hit the ground, the headphones acted like a bungee cord.
My poor wee ipod mini fell from my waist-high pocket to the height of my calf, got a wee bit of a jolt when the headphone lead ran out of slack and stopped it totally crashing to the ground, then the headphones jack popped out of the ipod and the thing fell at the very mostest 30cm/ 12inches.
And it fell onto its bottom, where its little protective rubber sleeve is thickest.
So I pick it up, reconnect the headphones, and keep going (surreptitiously glancing around to see if anyone saw my tragedy/stupidity)
It plays to the end of the track, and then freezes.
I stop and examine it, thinking that the jolt has damaged the headphones, you know, broken the wires or something.
Or is it...
I'm plodding along, 5 min brisk walk warm-up then run-walk-run-walk at 1 min intervals, and about 15 mins in, my ipod falls out of my pocket.
Now, it doesn't completely fall and hit the ground, the headphones acted like a bungee cord.
My poor wee ipod mini fell from my waist-high pocket to the height of my calf, got a wee bit of a jolt when the headphone lead ran out of slack and stopped it totally crashing to the ground, then the headphones jack popped out of the ipod and the thing fell at the very mostest 30cm/ 12inches.
And it fell onto its bottom, where its little protective rubber sleeve is thickest.
So I pick it up, reconnect the headphones, and keep going (surreptitiously glancing around to see if anyone saw my tragedy/stupidity)
It plays to the end of the track, and then freezes.
I stop and examine it, thinking that the jolt has damaged the headphones, you know, broken the wires or something.
But no - the ipod has stopped playing.
After a lot of clickwheel shenanigans, it moves on to the next track, but still won't play.
It's frozen, and the battery power is draining much faster than usual, especially since the d@mn thing isn't even playing!
So I keep on plodding, holding the silent thing in one hand and my house keys in the other (pocket problem confirmed, no music is one thing; locking yourself out of the house is a whooooole different thing...)
By the time I get home (a plod of about 5km in about 45mins, if you must know) the ipod is no longer frozen...
Instead, this is on the screen...
It has 'x's for eyes, that's never good...
There’s a website address underneath the icon, so I log on and go to the ipod itunes support site and look up what to do…
By now, my poor wee ipod is cycling between the dead ipod one, the start-up Apple one, and this one:
There’s a website address underneath the icon, so I log on and go to the ipod itunes support site and look up what to do…
By now, my poor wee ipod is cycling between the dead ipod one, the start-up Apple one, and this one:
It’s not charging at all, and it’s not showing up in itunes any more, either…
And no matter how often I try the advice on the support pages, it’s not working. It’s cycling through the icons and occasionally making a high-pitched beeping sound, like a lorry reversing far away…
So I guess my ipod is officially dead
#sniff#
Outside of trying a new battery (which will not be cheap and might not even work…) or getting it serviced (it’s a mini, it’s obsolete, it’ll cost just to get someone to look at it let alone fix it…) my wee ipod has passed on…
I’ve looked on ebay, and mini’s are going for a minimum of about £50… Amazon are selling the new nano for £130… which would be brand new, fully supported, and come with a warranty… even the old nanos are aren’t much cheaper than that…
So this is what I’m wondering – isn’t the timing of the whole thing just a little bit interesting…?
My ipod didn’t fall from a great height: it’s fallen from higher off the couch onto the hardwood floor and didn’t have a headphone bungee cord that time, so what was so different about this fall that Donald-Ducked it once and for all..?
Did my wee ipod know I was ogling other models and commit suicide?
Did it give up the ghost when it realised it was old and past it and there were newer better options available from within its very own family?
Or, even more sinister…
Was there something in the most recent itunes update that programmed the oldest ipods to die when the new ones came out, so that they would HAVE to be replaced…?!
And no matter how often I try the advice on the support pages, it’s not working. It’s cycling through the icons and occasionally making a high-pitched beeping sound, like a lorry reversing far away…
So I guess my ipod is officially dead
#sniff#
Outside of trying a new battery (which will not be cheap and might not even work…) or getting it serviced (it’s a mini, it’s obsolete, it’ll cost just to get someone to look at it let alone fix it…) my wee ipod has passed on…
I’ve looked on ebay, and mini’s are going for a minimum of about £50… Amazon are selling the new nano for £130… which would be brand new, fully supported, and come with a warranty… even the old nanos are aren’t much cheaper than that…
So this is what I’m wondering – isn’t the timing of the whole thing just a little bit interesting…?
My ipod didn’t fall from a great height: it’s fallen from higher off the couch onto the hardwood floor and didn’t have a headphone bungee cord that time, so what was so different about this fall that Donald-Ducked it once and for all..?
Did my wee ipod know I was ogling other models and commit suicide?
Did it give up the ghost when it realised it was old and past it and there were newer better options available from within its very own family?
Or, even more sinister…
Was there something in the most recent itunes update that programmed the oldest ipods to die when the new ones came out, so that they would HAVE to be replaced…?!
The only thing I can be sure of is that from here on in, whatever I use to play music while I go for a plod, I’ll put it in my wee zip-up-able armband thing…
Tuesday 11 September 2007
* unfortunately we regret blah blah blah
...
So obviously having been unemployed and job-hunting since the end of June this year, I've had a fair few pieces of correspondence thanking me for my application for whatever position it was however on this occasion I have not been successful (sometimes they give a reason along the lines of the recruiter having had a large volume of applicants and there being more qualified/suitable candidates than me) and they thank me for my interest and hope this will not discourage me from applying to them again in the future blah blah blah blah blah...
See what I did there? I have had so many of these I can now write them myself! If it's a thin letter then it's a rejection, invites to interview are generally done by phone or by thicker letter containing stuff like additional forms, instructions, directions, etc.
Wish I had the guts to try something like this, though - just to see if it works or at least to see what reaction it got...
http://www.snopes.com/college/admin/rejection.asp
So obviously having been unemployed and job-hunting since the end of June this year, I've had a fair few pieces of correspondence thanking me for my application for whatever position it was however on this occasion I have not been successful (sometimes they give a reason along the lines of the recruiter having had a large volume of applicants and there being more qualified/suitable candidates than me) and they thank me for my interest and hope this will not discourage me from applying to them again in the future blah blah blah blah blah...
See what I did there? I have had so many of these I can now write them myself! If it's a thin letter then it's a rejection, invites to interview are generally done by phone or by thicker letter containing stuff like additional forms, instructions, directions, etc.
Wish I had the guts to try something like this, though - just to see if it works or at least to see what reaction it got...
http://www.snopes.com/college/admin/rejection.asp
Saturday 8 September 2007
* I used the word "tickled" in a blog comments field!
...
http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/09/osama-placebo.html#comment-82028645
Honestly, I can't recommend the Dilbert blog enough.
Scott Adams is managing to be funny and intelligent on a daily basis; I know people where you're lucky if they're either of those once a week...
http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/09/osama-placebo.html#comment-82028645
Honestly, I can't recommend the Dilbert blog enough.
Scott Adams is managing to be funny and intelligent on a daily basis; I know people where you're lucky if they're either of those once a week...
Friday 31 August 2007
* Loud People
…
People, people, people…
Please…!!
Volume does not *necessarily* make things better
For example…
Chav and Ned commuters
Playing your thumpy thumpy gerbil-heartbeat-bpm smurf-voice-go-techno nonsense at full volume through your tiny tinny mobile phone speaker on the bus does not make it good; in fairness, nothing would make that good, so just shut the hell up.
Perhaps the rest of us should play some full volume Barry Manilow or Val Doonican as revenge?
Ladies of all ages
Screetching things does not make you seem popular and clever and all Sarah Jessica Parker Sex-in-the-City sophisticated-like.
It just draws attention to the fact that you are a loud annoying orange-skinned bad-blonde-hair-job alcopop-swigging Senga wearing Primark clothes that are 2 sizes too small.
People who think they are intelligent
Saying something loud does not magically transform it into something witty and clever.
No amount of volume when you say things like “But I think you’ll find that on reflection, Posh Spice is *actually* the very embodiment of the ironic, in-control, post-modern feminist” is going to do that.
Pubs and bars
Suddenly turning the music volume up from, say 3 to 11 in one go at 7pm on a Friday night will not automatically bestow your place with atmosphere and turn it into party-central, it just pee’s off the punters who nipped in for a post-work pint because now they can’t hear themselves think let alone b1tch about their idiot workmates.
So if you and every other plank that thinks that louder is *always* better and that it is their inalienable human right to be as loud as possible all the time could just drop dead or at least keep it down a bit, that would be great.
NB: I posted a much swearier version of this on Holy Moly earlier today, but toned it down a bit (a lot) for public consumption on here...
People, people, people…
Please…!!
Volume does not *necessarily* make things better
For example…
Chav and Ned commuters
Playing your thumpy thumpy gerbil-heartbeat-bpm smurf-voice-go-techno nonsense at full volume through your tiny tinny mobile phone speaker on the bus does not make it good; in fairness, nothing would make that good, so just shut the hell up.
Perhaps the rest of us should play some full volume Barry Manilow or Val Doonican as revenge?
Ladies of all ages
Screetching things does not make you seem popular and clever and all Sarah Jessica Parker Sex-in-the-City sophisticated-like.
It just draws attention to the fact that you are a loud annoying orange-skinned bad-blonde-hair-job alcopop-swigging Senga wearing Primark clothes that are 2 sizes too small.
People who think they are intelligent
Saying something loud does not magically transform it into something witty and clever.
No amount of volume when you say things like “But I think you’ll find that on reflection, Posh Spice is *actually* the very embodiment of the ironic, in-control, post-modern feminist” is going to do that.
Pubs and bars
Suddenly turning the music volume up from, say 3 to 11 in one go at 7pm on a Friday night will not automatically bestow your place with atmosphere and turn it into party-central, it just pee’s off the punters who nipped in for a post-work pint because now they can’t hear themselves think let alone b1tch about their idiot workmates.
So if you and every other plank that thinks that louder is *always* better and that it is their inalienable human right to be as loud as possible all the time could just drop dead or at least keep it down a bit, that would be great.
NB: I posted a much swearier version of this on Holy Moly earlier today, but toned it down a bit (a lot) for public consumption on here...
Thursday 30 August 2007
* there's got to be a bit of give and take in the working world these days
…
So there’s this story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6969791.stm
And its amusingly related spoof:
http://newsbiscuit.com/article/facebook-employee-sacked-for-spending-entire-working-day-on-excel-185
All I know is, I used to work in a place where the pace and workload was constantly hectic and unpredictable, and so after totally knocking your pan in doing nothing else but this one thing for a solid hour putting together stuff that someone needed NOW!!! … It was nice to have a break and a bit of a surf for fun stuff, as well as stretch the old legs and go for a pee, etc.
It worked really well to relieve the pressure and also helped us bond as a team, sharing daft stuff and chatting about what we’d found.
Then they changed the system and we lost access to a bunch of stuff: it was really frustrating, made you felt like you were doing something wrong and disciplinary-worthy when you tried to access a ‘forbidden’ site [like the lottery results, because it was classed as gambling... or YouTube because it was ‘entertainment’…] and meant that we were then #more# likely to work through our lunch-hours for lack of anything else to do, thus making us more stressed and resentful of the environment and not doing much for the old work-life balance or health and safety ‘take regular breaks’ advice…
I’ve also worked in call centres with no internet access, where there came a point when there was nothing left to do: calls had died off, files and drawers had been tidied and re-tidied, work-based quizzes and such had been exhausted, newspapers weren’t allowed because newsprint would mucky up the desks, games and books and magazines weren’t allowed because it looked unprofessional… we were tied to our cubicles by the length of our headset leads like a junkyard dog on a too-short chain, and all that was left to do was sit about and chat, which could get out-of-hand and even too noisy when one of us finally did get a call through…
I know there are people who totally rip the pi55 out of it and do nothing but surf and shop all day, I’ve worked with one who organised their entire wedding and every holiday on company time with company resources.
Heck, I’ve even done it myself: I was made redundant but was made to work out my full notice period rather than being put on garden leave, so for a full 4 weeks I was paid to come in and surf and job-hunt and answer the odd query about the stuff I used to do.
It was such a waste, it meant I had to fork out for bus fares and do a 1 hour 2 bus commute twice a day just to sit about doing nothing, which I could do much cheaper #and# in pyjamas if I had been allowed to stay home…
But then again, I’ve used internet access to do stuff I would have otherwise have needed to take time off for, like banking, arranging appointments, getting stuff from people and even surfing for online information that would help the job/business I was currently in, and so on.
So I guess it has to come down to trust: as long as the work is done when it needs to be done and is of an at-least satisfactory standard, then what’s the problem with surfing in-between times?
So there’s this story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6969791.stm
And its amusingly related spoof:
http://newsbiscuit.com/article/facebook-employee-sacked-for-spending-entire-working-day-on-excel-185
All I know is, I used to work in a place where the pace and workload was constantly hectic and unpredictable, and so after totally knocking your pan in doing nothing else but this one thing for a solid hour putting together stuff that someone needed NOW!!! … It was nice to have a break and a bit of a surf for fun stuff, as well as stretch the old legs and go for a pee, etc.
It worked really well to relieve the pressure and also helped us bond as a team, sharing daft stuff and chatting about what we’d found.
Then they changed the system and we lost access to a bunch of stuff: it was really frustrating, made you felt like you were doing something wrong and disciplinary-worthy when you tried to access a ‘forbidden’ site [like the lottery results, because it was classed as gambling... or YouTube because it was ‘entertainment’…] and meant that we were then #more# likely to work through our lunch-hours for lack of anything else to do, thus making us more stressed and resentful of the environment and not doing much for the old work-life balance or health and safety ‘take regular breaks’ advice…
I’ve also worked in call centres with no internet access, where there came a point when there was nothing left to do: calls had died off, files and drawers had been tidied and re-tidied, work-based quizzes and such had been exhausted, newspapers weren’t allowed because newsprint would mucky up the desks, games and books and magazines weren’t allowed because it looked unprofessional… we were tied to our cubicles by the length of our headset leads like a junkyard dog on a too-short chain, and all that was left to do was sit about and chat, which could get out-of-hand and even too noisy when one of us finally did get a call through…
I know there are people who totally rip the pi55 out of it and do nothing but surf and shop all day, I’ve worked with one who organised their entire wedding and every holiday on company time with company resources.
Heck, I’ve even done it myself: I was made redundant but was made to work out my full notice period rather than being put on garden leave, so for a full 4 weeks I was paid to come in and surf and job-hunt and answer the odd query about the stuff I used to do.
It was such a waste, it meant I had to fork out for bus fares and do a 1 hour 2 bus commute twice a day just to sit about doing nothing, which I could do much cheaper #and# in pyjamas if I had been allowed to stay home…
But then again, I’ve used internet access to do stuff I would have otherwise have needed to take time off for, like banking, arranging appointments, getting stuff from people and even surfing for online information that would help the job/business I was currently in, and so on.
So I guess it has to come down to trust: as long as the work is done when it needs to be done and is of an at-least satisfactory standard, then what’s the problem with surfing in-between times?
Friday 24 August 2007
* this is a nation of idiots... and most of them are being broadcast...
...
Got these in an an email...
QUIZMANIA (ITV)
Greg Scott: We're looking for an occupation beginning with 'T'.
Contestant: Doctor.
Scott: No, it's 'T'. 'T' for Tommy. 'T' for Tango.
Contestant: Oh, right . . . (pause) ... . . Doctor.
DANNY KELLY SHOW (RADIO WM)
Kelly: Which French Mediterranean town hosts a famous film festival every year?
Contestant: I don't know, I need a clue.
Kelly: OK. What do beans come in?
Contestant: Cartons?
BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
Contestant: Leicester.
BBC NORFOLK
Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: I don't know.
White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?
Contestant: Arm.
White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're ... . .?
Contestant: Strong.
White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?
Contestant: Louis.
White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: Frank Sinatra?
LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS)
Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy?
Contestant: France.
Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.
Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.
Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?
Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.
Trelinski: Just guess a country then.
Contestant: Paris.
UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?
Contestant: Homosexuals.
Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.
THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: prison, or the Conservative Party?
Contestant: The Conservative Party.
BEACON RADIO (WOLVERHAMPTON)
DJ Mark: For Pounds 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?
THE WEAKEST LINK
Anne Robinson: In traffic, what 'J' is where two roads meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway?
UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi's first name?
Contestant: Goosey?
GWR FM (Bristol)
Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.
RTE RADIO 2FM (IRELAND)
Presenter: What is the name of the long- running TV comedy show about pensioners: Last Of The ...?
Caller: Mohicans.
QUIZMANIA
Greg Scott: We're looking for a word that goes in front of 'clock'.
Contestant: Grandfather.
Scott: Grandfather clock is already up there, say something else.
Contestant: Panda.
PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER)
Phil: What's 11 squared?
Contestant: I don't know.
Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.
Contestant: Is it five?
RICHARD AND JUDY
Q: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?
A: Forrest Gump.
RICHARD AND JUDY
Leslie: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
Contestant: Er . . .
Leslie: He makes bread .. .
Contestant: Er . . .
Leslie: He makes cakes .. .
Contestant: Kipling Street?
MAGIC 52 (NORTHEAST ENGLAND)
Presenter: In what year was President Kennedy assassinated?
Contestant: Erm .. .
Presenter: Well, let's put it this way - he didn't see 1964.
Contestant: 1965?
SIMPLY THE BEST (ITV)
Phil Tufnell: How many Olympic Games have been held?
Contestant: Six.
Tufnell: Higher!
Contestant: Five.
FORT BOYARD (CHALLENGE TV)
Jodie Marsh: Arrange these two groups of letters to form a word - CHED and PIT.
Team: Chedpit.
LINCS FM PHONE-IN
Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona.
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.
RADIO 1 EARLY MORNING SHOW
Presenter: How many toes would three people have in total?
Contestant: 23.
NOTTS AND CROSSES QUIZ (BBC RADIO NOTTINGHAM)
Jeff Owen: In which country is Mount Everest?
Contestant (long pause): Er, it's not in Scotland, is it?
THE MICK GIRDLER SHOW (BBC RADIO SOLENT)
Girdler: I'm looking for an island in the Atlantic whose name includes the letter 'e'.
Contestant: Ghana.
Girdler: No, listen. It's an island in the Atlantic Ocean.
Contestant: New Zealand.
NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
Question: What is the world's largest continent?
Contestant: The Pacific
ROCK FM (PRESTON)
Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo Da Vinci.
Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
Steve Le Fevre: What was signed to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
Contestant: Magna Carta.
JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?
Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... er . . . er .. . three?
NATIONAL LOTTERY
Eamonn Holmes: There are three states of matter: solid, liquid and what?
Contestant: Jelly.
RICHARD ALLINSON SHOW (RADIO 2)
Allinson: What international brand shares its name with the Greek goddess of victory?
Contestant (after long deliberation): Erm, Kellogg's?
BLIND DATE (ITV)
Girl: Name a book written by Jane Austen.
Boy: Charlotte Bronte.
CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL)
Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller: Japan.
Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er . . . Mexico?
DOG EAT DOG (BBC1)
Ulrika Jonsson: Who wrote Lord of the Rings?
Contestant: Enid Blyton
PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE)
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.
NATIONAL LOTTERY
Eamonn Holmes: Dizzy Gillespie is famous for playing . .. what?
Contestant: Basketball.
NOTTS AND CROSSES QUIZ
Jeff Owen: Where did the D-Day landings take place?
Contestant (after pause): Pearl Harbor?
DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)
Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland?
Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
Contestant: No.
PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er . . .
Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . . .
Contestant: Blimey?
Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .
Contestant: (Silence)
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .
Contestant: Walked?
NATIONAL LOTTERY
Dale Winton: Skegness is a seaside resort on the coast of which sea:a) Irish Sea, b) English Channel, c) North Sea?
Contestant: Oh, I know that, you can start writing out the cheque now, Dale. It's on the east coast, so it must be the Irish Sea.
THE VAULT
Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
Contestant: Nostalgia.
LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)
Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?
Contestant: Jewish.
Presenter: That's close enough.
BREAKFAST SHOW, RADIO 1
Chris Moyles: Which 'S' is a kind of whale that can grow up to 80 tonnes?
Contestant: Ummm .. .
Moyles: It begins with 'S' and rhymes with 'perm'.
Contestant: Shark.
STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)
Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?
Contestant: Jesus.
* avast me hearties, 25 days to go and countin'...!
...
some useful websites, me maties...!
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html
http://www.braingle.com/trivia/3815/can-ye-talk-like-a-pirate.html
... and for the more creative among us...
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/knitlikeapirate.html
http://scrubberbum.typepad.com/moth_heaven/2006/07/this_might_be_a.html
http://www.jinx.com/men/shirts/geek/yarrrn.html
some useful websites, me maties...!
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html
http://www.braingle.com/trivia/3815/can-ye-talk-like-a-pirate.html
... and for the more creative among us...
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/knitlikeapirate.html
http://scrubberbum.typepad.com/moth_heaven/2006/07/this_might_be_a.html
http://www.jinx.com/men/shirts/geek/yarrrn.html
Thursday 23 August 2007
* awesome gadget...!
...
This is a wee doohickey that works with itunes and turns your ipod into a timer for interval training workouts or anything where you want an audible signal to change activity without having to clock watch…!
Basically, you download the zip file, add the ‘ding’ noise mp3 to your itunes, choose your music and set up a playlist in your itunes for your session(s) then use the “create playlist vbs” thingumy which is also in the zipfile.
You tell it what the name of your playlist is, what intervals you want (for example “5,1:30” means you want 5 minutes then 90 seconds) and a new playlist pops up for you, all ready to use.
The first track(s) will play for 5 minutes then you’ll hear a ding and the next track will play for 90 seconds then you’ll hear a ding, then the next track(s) will play for 5 minutes then you’ll hear a ding and the next track will play for 90 seconds then etc etc…!
So as long as you remember to take your ipod off of shuffle, you just set it a-playing and off you go, every time you hear the music change and the “ding!” it’s time to change activity…!
http://www.lifehacker.com/software/running/interval-running-itunes-playlist-154491.php
The actual gadget is at the bottom of this page:http://www.active.com/donate/tntntx/jeffwelch
This is a wee doohickey that works with itunes and turns your ipod into a timer for interval training workouts or anything where you want an audible signal to change activity without having to clock watch…!
Basically, you download the zip file, add the ‘ding’ noise mp3 to your itunes, choose your music and set up a playlist in your itunes for your session(s) then use the “create playlist vbs” thingumy which is also in the zipfile.
You tell it what the name of your playlist is, what intervals you want (for example “5,1:30” means you want 5 minutes then 90 seconds) and a new playlist pops up for you, all ready to use.
The first track(s) will play for 5 minutes then you’ll hear a ding and the next track will play for 90 seconds then you’ll hear a ding, then the next track(s) will play for 5 minutes then you’ll hear a ding and the next track will play for 90 seconds then etc etc…!
So as long as you remember to take your ipod off of shuffle, you just set it a-playing and off you go, every time you hear the music change and the “ding!” it’s time to change activity…!
http://www.lifehacker.com/software/running/interval-running-itunes-playlist-154491.php
The actual gadget is at the bottom of this page:http://www.active.com/donate/tntntx/jeffwelch
Sunday 19 August 2007
* literally humped to death...
...
http://www.teletext.co.uk/news/national/16/Pet+camel+kills+woman.aspx
I know I said I wanted to be something and be known and recognised and stuff, but let's be honest... making the news for being killed by an over-amourous birthday present isn't likely to be something you'd choose to be remembered for, is it...?
http://www.teletext.co.uk/news/national/16/Pet+camel+kills+woman.aspx
I know I said I wanted to be something and be known and recognised and stuff, but let's be honest... making the news for being killed by an over-amourous birthday present isn't likely to be something you'd choose to be remembered for, is it...?
Saturday 18 August 2007
* what exactly is it that you're famous for...?
...
Ok, so when I was young, I wanted to be... something...
An actress
A page 3 girl
A princess
A checkout girl
I knew I wanted to be seen and recognised
[Hey! Aren't you the girl who sells me my scran and booze every Saturday? You’re great! I love you, man! Woooo...!]
- BUT -
I also knew that for most of these, I didn't have what it takes - sufficient talent, attributes, connections, etc
Most of all, I just didn't have the drive
I knew I wasn't willing to take the risks and do all the incredibly hard ongoing work needed to be a long-term success in the first 3 on the above list
Them’s the breaks, get over it, get on with life - next at this till, please!
Except that now, there seems to be an attitude - if not a whole generation - that seems to be all about shortcuts - look at the number of reality shows and docu-soaps and talk shows and real life dramas and reconstructions and the hordes [wh*re-ds?] of people queuing up to appear on them
In the UK version of Big Brother, housemates are voted out by the public and more often than not they are booed vociferously on leaving the house, both of which implies that they are figures of utter hate…
Except that then they appear non-stop in newspapers and magazines and in other TV shows until the next person leaves the house and we start all over again with this new victim- they get paid for just being themselves, until we are bored with them - then they keep wh*ring and demeaning themselves more and more to try to keep themselves in the public eye
Worse still, there's the karaoke x-pop-‘talent’-factor-star-idol shows that
[1] Humiliate and bully people and play the incident over and over again to millions of viewers
[2] Promotes even more blandness to the people who think that they can do it better themselves
Out of all the shows of these types, how many success stories have there really actually been?
Who has ever been on/won one of these things and had an easy ride being famous – because presumably that’s why they did it, fame and money and recognition for minimal effort, no?
Would you want to go to a job interview and have to deal with the fact that you’d seen the interviewer’s rudey bits on national TV [or worse, they saw yours when you were on…]?
Would you want your doctor or surgeon talking you through an impending complicated and life-threatening procedure knowing that you’d recently seen them lying and drinking heavily and being copiously sick in some televised task?
Would an undertaker take you seriously and arrange a funeral for you, if they’d seen you do a 'comedy corpse' skit on a prank show?
Does ANYONE agree to appear on a Jerry Springer/ Ricki Lake/ Trisha Goddard/ Jeremy Kyle type shows without being at least a little suspicious or worried that they might not come out of it looking snowy-white and blameless themselves?
Why would you put yourself up for the tell-all secrets that inevitably come out – why do you think the world wants to know about your childhood/ troubled past/ ex-partners/ struggle with whatever affliction is in fashion right now?
[oh mi Gawd, anorexia is like SO 1990s… depression is SO the new eating disorder these days, don’t you know…]
Is your ‘heart-breaking battle’ really any different to what any one of the rest of us goes through in life, without all the public-eye pity-me attention seeking, of course…?
And what in the wide wide world of sports would make you think that the world wants to watch you sit around and burp and f@rt and scratch your @rse and hear you talk about yourself?
Why would you think that you’d be different - that you’d be THE ONE who really really made it, who had a consistent and lengthy and rewarding and awarded and lauded and respected and well-paid career out of making an utter utter f@nny of yourself on telly?
And how will it feel when you aren’t recognised?
And you don’t get special treatment?
Or when you get pitying and/or disdainful looks when people do realise who you are and what you did so publicly and is probably still available on YouTube?
Wait – are these the audition questions?
Well they should be.
Can the general public please go back to having a little dignity and being afraid of shame, and stop wanting and expecing absolutely everything immediately, please?
And can TV people please stop paying people to humiliate themselves in the name of entertainment?
please...?
Ok, so when I was young, I wanted to be... something...
An actress
A page 3 girl
A princess
A checkout girl
I knew I wanted to be seen and recognised
[Hey! Aren't you the girl who sells me my scran and booze every Saturday? You’re great! I love you, man! Woooo...!]
- BUT -
I also knew that for most of these, I didn't have what it takes - sufficient talent, attributes, connections, etc
Most of all, I just didn't have the drive
I knew I wasn't willing to take the risks and do all the incredibly hard ongoing work needed to be a long-term success in the first 3 on the above list
Them’s the breaks, get over it, get on with life - next at this till, please!
Except that now, there seems to be an attitude - if not a whole generation - that seems to be all about shortcuts - look at the number of reality shows and docu-soaps and talk shows and real life dramas and reconstructions and the hordes [wh*re-ds?] of people queuing up to appear on them
In the UK version of Big Brother, housemates are voted out by the public and more often than not they are booed vociferously on leaving the house, both of which implies that they are figures of utter hate…
Except that then they appear non-stop in newspapers and magazines and in other TV shows until the next person leaves the house and we start all over again with this new victim- they get paid for just being themselves, until we are bored with them - then they keep wh*ring and demeaning themselves more and more to try to keep themselves in the public eye
Worse still, there's the karaoke x-pop-‘talent’-factor-star-idol shows that
[1] Humiliate and bully people and play the incident over and over again to millions of viewers
[2] Promotes even more blandness to the people who think that they can do it better themselves
Out of all the shows of these types, how many success stories have there really actually been?
Who has ever been on/won one of these things and had an easy ride being famous – because presumably that’s why they did it, fame and money and recognition for minimal effort, no?
Would you want to go to a job interview and have to deal with the fact that you’d seen the interviewer’s rudey bits on national TV [or worse, they saw yours when you were on…]?
Would you want your doctor or surgeon talking you through an impending complicated and life-threatening procedure knowing that you’d recently seen them lying and drinking heavily and being copiously sick in some televised task?
Would an undertaker take you seriously and arrange a funeral for you, if they’d seen you do a 'comedy corpse' skit on a prank show?
Does ANYONE agree to appear on a Jerry Springer/ Ricki Lake/ Trisha Goddard/ Jeremy Kyle type shows without being at least a little suspicious or worried that they might not come out of it looking snowy-white and blameless themselves?
Why would you put yourself up for the tell-all secrets that inevitably come out – why do you think the world wants to know about your childhood/ troubled past/ ex-partners/ struggle with whatever affliction is in fashion right now?
[oh mi Gawd, anorexia is like SO 1990s… depression is SO the new eating disorder these days, don’t you know…]
Is your ‘heart-breaking battle’ really any different to what any one of the rest of us goes through in life, without all the public-eye pity-me attention seeking, of course…?
And what in the wide wide world of sports would make you think that the world wants to watch you sit around and burp and f@rt and scratch your @rse and hear you talk about yourself?
Why would you think that you’d be different - that you’d be THE ONE who really really made it, who had a consistent and lengthy and rewarding and awarded and lauded and respected and well-paid career out of making an utter utter f@nny of yourself on telly?
And how will it feel when you aren’t recognised?
And you don’t get special treatment?
Or when you get pitying and/or disdainful looks when people do realise who you are and what you did so publicly and is probably still available on YouTube?
Wait – are these the audition questions?
Well they should be.
Can the general public please go back to having a little dignity and being afraid of shame, and stop wanting and expecing absolutely everything immediately, please?
And can TV people please stop paying people to humiliate themselves in the name of entertainment?
please...?
Wednesday 15 August 2007
* We are all lovely just the way we are... or are normal-looking, at least...
...
Check out this site:
http://www.iwanexstudio.com/
Go to 'portfolio' and select a picture: it will open in a pop-up.
Once it does, move your cursor so that it's over the picture and hey presto! You can NOW see it in all its pre-air-brushed glory!
* Check out the b00by-fication of most of the women...!
** Check out the slimification and de-shadowing and de-skin-toning of just about everyone...!
*** Play "now you see it, now you don't" with Beyonce's muffin top..!
Just goes to show, you should never meet your idols... because at this rate, you'd be lucky to recognise them in real life...
}:->
Check out this site:
http://www.iwanexstudio.com/
Go to 'portfolio' and select a picture: it will open in a pop-up.
Once it does, move your cursor so that it's over the picture and hey presto! You can NOW see it in all its pre-air-brushed glory!
* Check out the b00by-fication of most of the women...!
** Check out the slimification and de-shadowing and de-skin-toning of just about everyone...!
*** Play "now you see it, now you don't" with Beyonce's muffin top..!
Just goes to show, you should never meet your idols... because at this rate, you'd be lucky to recognise them in real life...
}:->
Tuesday 14 August 2007
* another comment posted
...
aaaaaand she does it again - a little gentle humour and exaggeration at Calvin's expense...
http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/08/basic-instruc-3.html#comment-79465733
it's for a good cause, it's to maybe help out a new cartoonist... honest...
http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/08/basic-instruc-1.html
luvya Calvin!
:-*
aaaaaand she does it again - a little gentle humour and exaggeration at Calvin's expense...
http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/08/basic-instruc-3.html#comment-79465733
it's for a good cause, it's to maybe help out a new cartoonist... honest...
http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/08/basic-instruc-1.html
luvya Calvin!
:-*
* woo, get me...!
...
Just did my very first on-formatting customisation of my blog... check out my sweet Glasgow Time external provider clock...!
And to slightly misquote Calvin and Hobbes: "don't mock my clock or I'll clean your clock"
:-)
Just did my very first on-formatting customisation of my blog... check out my sweet Glasgow Time external provider clock...!
And to slightly misquote Calvin and Hobbes: "don't mock my clock or I'll clean your clock"
:-)
Monday 13 August 2007
* mass debate? [teehee]
...
interesting point... what's the difference between 'exercising a freedom' and 'crossing a boundary'...?
When does something cease to be one thing and turn into the other?
or can they?
can they only ever be one thing?
can it be one thing then turn into the other and then go back?
and is it always bad to cross a boundary?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/6940829.stm
interesting point... what's the difference between 'exercising a freedom' and 'crossing a boundary'...?
When does something cease to be one thing and turn into the other?
or can they?
can they only ever be one thing?
can it be one thing then turn into the other and then go back?
and is it always bad to cross a boundary?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/6940829.stm
Sunday 12 August 2007
* Facebook works!
...
Got up this morning to find a message from an old school friend - who's now married with 2 kids and living in Canada!
Hooray and how unexpected and lovely!
I'm convinced so far - this Facebook doohickey is slightly addictive and fun!
Now, if only I can use it to find me a job...
:-)
Got up this morning to find a message from an old school friend - who's now married with 2 kids and living in Canada!
Hooray and how unexpected and lovely!
I'm convinced so far - this Facebook doohickey is slightly addictive and fun!
Now, if only I can use it to find me a job...
:-)
Saturday 11 August 2007
* succumbed. given in. joined the revolution. etc etc
...
After a little prompting from Calvin, I have finally joined Facebook.
And spent loads of time on it already... strangely compelling... even with only 3 friends in there...!
Still avoiding MySpace - the difference seems to be that anyone can find you and see anything in there, so you get random 'friend requests' from all sorts, whereas in Facebook you seem to be more able to control who sees what, which is better from an 'at risk of being googled while jobhunting' perspective...
After a little prompting from Calvin, I have finally joined Facebook.
And spent loads of time on it already... strangely compelling... even with only 3 friends in there...!
Still avoiding MySpace - the difference seems to be that anyone can find you and see anything in there, so you get random 'friend requests' from all sorts, whereas in Facebook you seem to be more able to control who sees what, which is better from an 'at risk of being googled while jobhunting' perspective...
Thursday 9 August 2007
* a bit of an update on this week
...
Prior to Monday's little ray of sunshine news, I was at the dentist.
Was dreading it a wee bit as it turns out I hadn't been since June last year [I would have put money on me being there in November...] plus there had been a bit of too-ing and fro-ing trying to get the appointment and I'm grinding my teeth and biting my cheeks in my sleep just now...
So anyway, as usual I turn up about 5 minutes before the appointment time, and as usual the dentist is running late, so I'm sitting about watching some middle class property nonsense on BBC daytime...
["Tarquil and Jacinta bought this place for £100,000 and after spending £25,000 doing it up to their taste they're going to rent it out thus depriving first time buyers of the chance to buy it and imposing their awful bourgeois taste on someone forced to pay over the odds for the privilege just so they'll have a place to live..."]
Eventually I get called in and it's all looking a bit bare. They're renovating and innovating too - instead of where there were store cupboards, there's now a bare wall with a TV screen... so that they can show you your teeth during procedures! [or you can be watching something else to take your mind off it]
Check-up goes fine, root canal treatment has been a real success, no problems with my teeth or gums except for a little tartar and staining.
But to me, this IS a change - I never have problems with those!
So I book in to see the hygienist the next morning [oh, not knowing what fateful letter awaited me back home!]
Walking down the next day for the hygienist appointment the next day, it occurs to me that its OK that there's tartar and staining: over the past year, my coffee intake has increased from maybe 2 cups a week to 2-4 cups a day...!
That's a whooooooole lot more delicious mocha coloured and flavoured liquid slooshing around the old pearly whites...!
Add to that the fact that I'm trying one of those new sonic 'on board computer' toothbrushes and not being convinced by it, and I'm not surprised my teeth aren't like they normally are...
However...
The hygienist tells me that there is actually very little work needing done Very little tartar, minimal staining - and thanks me as it means she can have a wee break!
Apparently, my teeth are very difficult to brush but I'm doing a good job, such a good job in fact that I don't have to worry about my coffee intake as a little tartar and staining is normal and I'm covered for scales and polishes on my dental plan anyway.
And the reason I'm not convinced about the sonicky computery toothbrush doohickey?
The hygienist tells me that all the evidence suggests that these toothbrushes are really good - but I've been doing such a good job with my normal brush and floss that I'm not seeing or feeling as much of a difference as other people might...
So in summary, I'm really really good at dental hygiene i.e. brushing and flossing my teeth and keeping my mouthal area super-duper clean and healthy.
It was nice to get such an unexpected compliment.
And if we can work out how I can get a rewarding and well-paid career out of brushing my own teeth, man I have got it maaaaade!
Open wide!
:-@
Prior to Monday's little ray of sunshine news, I was at the dentist.
Was dreading it a wee bit as it turns out I hadn't been since June last year [I would have put money on me being there in November...] plus there had been a bit of too-ing and fro-ing trying to get the appointment and I'm grinding my teeth and biting my cheeks in my sleep just now...
So anyway, as usual I turn up about 5 minutes before the appointment time, and as usual the dentist is running late, so I'm sitting about watching some middle class property nonsense on BBC daytime...
["Tarquil and Jacinta bought this place for £100,000 and after spending £25,000 doing it up to their taste they're going to rent it out thus depriving first time buyers of the chance to buy it and imposing their awful bourgeois taste on someone forced to pay over the odds for the privilege just so they'll have a place to live..."]
Eventually I get called in and it's all looking a bit bare. They're renovating and innovating too - instead of where there were store cupboards, there's now a bare wall with a TV screen... so that they can show you your teeth during procedures! [or you can be watching something else to take your mind off it]
Check-up goes fine, root canal treatment has been a real success, no problems with my teeth or gums except for a little tartar and staining.
But to me, this IS a change - I never have problems with those!
So I book in to see the hygienist the next morning [oh, not knowing what fateful letter awaited me back home!]
Walking down the next day for the hygienist appointment the next day, it occurs to me that its OK that there's tartar and staining: over the past year, my coffee intake has increased from maybe 2 cups a week to 2-4 cups a day...!
That's a whooooooole lot more delicious mocha coloured and flavoured liquid slooshing around the old pearly whites...!
Add to that the fact that I'm trying one of those new sonic 'on board computer' toothbrushes and not being convinced by it, and I'm not surprised my teeth aren't like they normally are...
However...
The hygienist tells me that there is actually very little work needing done Very little tartar, minimal staining - and thanks me as it means she can have a wee break!
Apparently, my teeth are very difficult to brush but I'm doing a good job, such a good job in fact that I don't have to worry about my coffee intake as a little tartar and staining is normal and I'm covered for scales and polishes on my dental plan anyway.
And the reason I'm not convinced about the sonicky computery toothbrush doohickey?
The hygienist tells me that all the evidence suggests that these toothbrushes are really good - but I've been doing such a good job with my normal brush and floss that I'm not seeing or feeling as much of a difference as other people might...
So in summary, I'm really really good at dental hygiene i.e. brushing and flossing my teeth and keeping my mouthal area super-duper clean and healthy.
It was nice to get such an unexpected compliment.
And if we can work out how I can get a rewarding and well-paid career out of brushing my own teeth, man I have got it maaaaade!
Open wide!
:-@
Monday 6 August 2007
* not the greatest of days...
So as you probably have heard, I got the old K-B letter from [name witheld to protect the guilty] about the compliance-checker-trainer type job this morning.
Surprise surprise it went to... the internal candidate.
Who's already been doing the job for 4 months.
So I never really had a feasible chance in the first place - more chance of Britney winning Mum of the Year...
What a waste of time and energy that turned out to be.
Seriously, what's the point in advertising and going through the whole interview hoo-ha if you have no intention of actually considering anyone other than the person you've already given the job to?
sux.
big time.
not happy.
gie's a job!
Surprise surprise it went to... the internal candidate.
Who's already been doing the job for 4 months.
So I never really had a feasible chance in the first place - more chance of Britney winning Mum of the Year...
What a waste of time and energy that turned out to be.
Seriously, what's the point in advertising and going through the whole interview hoo-ha if you have no intention of actually considering anyone other than the person you've already given the job to?
sux.
big time.
not happy.
gie's a job!
Sunday 5 August 2007
* hahahaha!
...
we were sitting watching telly the other morning, maybe about 10.30am and all of a sudden a pidgeon flew into the wall outside!
Not the window, oh no he missed that by a fair old stretch, he actually flew into the dividing wall between the right and middle windows!
#thump# and fall!
by the time we had finished laughing and got up to have a look, we realised that we couldn't see where he would have fallen anyway, but when we went out a bit later on there was no body or clump of feathers, so he didn't die or get caught by any of the neighbourhood cats or foxes or ned children or anything; he probably did the pidgeon equivalent of getting up and walking/flying away like he meant to do it...
weird entry this one, but trust me, it was hilarious!
we were sitting watching telly the other morning, maybe about 10.30am and all of a sudden a pidgeon flew into the wall outside!
Not the window, oh no he missed that by a fair old stretch, he actually flew into the dividing wall between the right and middle windows!
#thump# and fall!
by the time we had finished laughing and got up to have a look, we realised that we couldn't see where he would have fallen anyway, but when we went out a bit later on there was no body or clump of feathers, so he didn't die or get caught by any of the neighbourhood cats or foxes or ned children or anything; he probably did the pidgeon equivalent of getting up and walking/flying away like he meant to do it...
weird entry this one, but trust me, it was hilarious!
Sunday 29 July 2007
* Harry Potter, my update
...
Ok, I'm finished it now, so am free to discuss it and can read things about it and so on... I even checked out a link to a spoiler T-Shirt:
HARRY POTTER SPOILER T-SHIRT LINK
DO #NOT# CLICK ON THIS LINK OR VISIT THIS SITE
UNLESS
YOU WANT TO KNOW SOME OF WHAT HAPPENS BEFORE YOU READ IT OR IF YOU CAN'T BE BOTHERED READING IT AT ALL ANYWAY http://harrypotterpublicenlightenmentproject.com/
It doesn't give away #everything# but gives away a fair amount of the important stuff - and you can't argue that I didn't give you a choice about whether you want to see it.
If you click on that link and proceed on the site, you do so willingly and knowing full well that it will give stuff away - unlike people who post spoilers before the book is even published and/or before people could possibly have finished it...
ANYWAY
It's funny, but not as good as this one:
DOESN'T GIVE AWAY ANYTHING RECENT
http://www.threadless.com/product/844/Spoilt
Or maybe this one:
http://www.threadless.com/product/926/Moral_Of_The_Story
:-)
Ok, I'm finished it now, so am free to discuss it and can read things about it and so on... I even checked out a link to a spoiler T-Shirt:
HARRY POTTER SPOILER T-SHIRT LINK
DO #NOT# CLICK ON THIS LINK OR VISIT THIS SITE
UNLESS
YOU WANT TO KNOW SOME OF WHAT HAPPENS BEFORE YOU READ IT OR IF YOU CAN'T BE BOTHERED READING IT AT ALL ANYWAY http://harrypotterpublicenlightenmentproject.com/
It doesn't give away #everything# but gives away a fair amount of the important stuff - and you can't argue that I didn't give you a choice about whether you want to see it.
If you click on that link and proceed on the site, you do so willingly and knowing full well that it will give stuff away - unlike people who post spoilers before the book is even published and/or before people could possibly have finished it...
ANYWAY
It's funny, but not as good as this one:
DOESN'T GIVE AWAY ANYTHING RECENT
http://www.threadless.com/product/844/Spoilt
Or maybe this one:
http://www.threadless.com/product/926/Moral_Of_The_Story
:-)
Thursday 26 July 2007
* Angel Wing Bruises
...
Went go-carting yesterday for Calvin [the other half]'s birthday; Hobbes [his teenage daughter] came too.
I was dreading it, mainly because I didn't know anything about it - he had decided that this was what he wanted to do for his birthday and he organised it all [don't panic, we got him stuff, he just wanted to do this himself].
He didn't spring his plans on us until after the huuuuge birthday breakfast and a while spent playing with the new games we got him [Family Guy and Destroy All Humans].
So all of a sudden, instead of the lazy day I thought we were going to have, I'm now plunged into one of my worst nightmares...
driving..., fast..., in an unfamiliar vehicle in an unknown place..., surrounded by cheeky wee neds bumping into me..., and being watched by a crowd all the while.
And that's pretty much what it was - at first.
First session, Hobbes and me were last to leave the pit lane and had problems doing so, due to the layout [the gap onto the track from where our carts were parked wasn't big enough]- so everyone else [4 neds and Calvin] [ooh, now THAT's a boy band name!] [or possibly a Daily Record cartoon strip] were already about three quarters of the way round on their slow out lap - so the neds went ahead and started racing while I was still on mine.
It's a bit intimidating being lapped and bumped at high speed by a bunch of competitive neds on your first time out, I can tell you.
However, I persevered and pootled along, getting to grips with the track and the layout and the handling and the speed, and was possibly the most courteous racing driver since Auntie Hamiltoe-nail held the steering wheel attachment at hand positions 10 to 2 and looked over her shoulder to reverse while playing a Playstation rallying game.
I just got used to checking behind me before manoeuvring [in case the cheeky wee neds bumped me again] and just let anyone who came up behind me get past.
At the end of the first session, I was glad to be finished but surprised at how I felt I had got used to it.
Unsurprisingly I had a pretty high average lap time [51.51] and my fastest lap was 40.06
BUT
Hobbes had the 3rd fastest lap time OF THE DAY SO FAR...!
She even beat her dad by 0.1 of a second...!
She got 32.10 and he got 32.20...!
Naturally, he put this down to her being smaller and lighter therefore the cart would go quicker for her with less 'bulk', and also her starting track position meaning that she had a pretty clear run without ned-interference... [ned-terference?]
But anyway, they are in positions 3 and 4 in the day's top 20 racers.
Calvin then tells me that he saw what the neds had been doing to me, and he had given them a pretty hard time on the track, and the marshalls had given them a bit of a b*ll*cking too, which was nice [for me anyway].
So we have a bit of a break between sessions and watch a couple of groups of speed-freak petrol heads giving it some, then it’s our turn again. This time, we're in a group with another family.
And this time, I did SO much better...!
I would even say that I enjoyed it...!
The race got red-flagged [stopped] for a while when the wee guy from the other family had a crash into the tyre wall that necessitated the marshall lifting the cart off of the top of it and back onto the track, so that messed with the lap times a bit, but this time, my average laptime was 45.19 and my fastest was 36.42...!
Yay!
Hobbes's average was 45.92 with her fastest being 37.29 and Calvin the Topper of the family won with an average of 38.96 and a fastest of 32.32.
Oh yes, and the title of this post?
2nd session, I'm totally gunning it, foot to the floor and not lifting it all the way up and round the flyover and just coming on to its off-ramp... but I misjudge the racing line and hit the tyre wall on the right-hand side, which ricochets me onto the tyre wall on the left hand side, all the while with the speed of gunning it and coming down the off-ramp.
And so what with the speed and the impact, I rattle around in the seat, bouncing off of the moulded padding on each side until I get control back after the 2nd hit and gun it off again to the next hairpin bend...
I have pretty bad posture so my shoulders are a bit rounded anyway, plus they're forward what with me gripping the wheel... so my shoulder blades are sticking out... and are now rattling off the padding...
So at the bottom of each of my shoulder blades, I have lovely little bruises that look like little wings...
But they're not injuries, oh no... they're badges of honour...
:-)
Went go-carting yesterday for Calvin [the other half]'s birthday; Hobbes [his teenage daughter] came too.
I was dreading it, mainly because I didn't know anything about it - he had decided that this was what he wanted to do for his birthday and he organised it all [don't panic, we got him stuff, he just wanted to do this himself].
He didn't spring his plans on us until after the huuuuge birthday breakfast and a while spent playing with the new games we got him [Family Guy and Destroy All Humans].
So all of a sudden, instead of the lazy day I thought we were going to have, I'm now plunged into one of my worst nightmares...
driving..., fast..., in an unfamiliar vehicle in an unknown place..., surrounded by cheeky wee neds bumping into me..., and being watched by a crowd all the while.
And that's pretty much what it was - at first.
First session, Hobbes and me were last to leave the pit lane and had problems doing so, due to the layout [the gap onto the track from where our carts were parked wasn't big enough]- so everyone else [4 neds and Calvin] [ooh, now THAT's a boy band name!] [or possibly a Daily Record cartoon strip] were already about three quarters of the way round on their slow out lap - so the neds went ahead and started racing while I was still on mine.
It's a bit intimidating being lapped and bumped at high speed by a bunch of competitive neds on your first time out, I can tell you.
However, I persevered and pootled along, getting to grips with the track and the layout and the handling and the speed, and was possibly the most courteous racing driver since Auntie Hamiltoe-nail held the steering wheel attachment at hand positions 10 to 2 and looked over her shoulder to reverse while playing a Playstation rallying game.
I just got used to checking behind me before manoeuvring [in case the cheeky wee neds bumped me again] and just let anyone who came up behind me get past.
At the end of the first session, I was glad to be finished but surprised at how I felt I had got used to it.
Unsurprisingly I had a pretty high average lap time [51.51] and my fastest lap was 40.06
BUT
Hobbes had the 3rd fastest lap time OF THE DAY SO FAR...!
She even beat her dad by 0.1 of a second...!
She got 32.10 and he got 32.20...!
Naturally, he put this down to her being smaller and lighter therefore the cart would go quicker for her with less 'bulk', and also her starting track position meaning that she had a pretty clear run without ned-interference... [ned-terference?]
But anyway, they are in positions 3 and 4 in the day's top 20 racers.
Calvin then tells me that he saw what the neds had been doing to me, and he had given them a pretty hard time on the track, and the marshalls had given them a bit of a b*ll*cking too, which was nice [for me anyway].
So we have a bit of a break between sessions and watch a couple of groups of speed-freak petrol heads giving it some, then it’s our turn again. This time, we're in a group with another family.
And this time, I did SO much better...!
I would even say that I enjoyed it...!
The race got red-flagged [stopped] for a while when the wee guy from the other family had a crash into the tyre wall that necessitated the marshall lifting the cart off of the top of it and back onto the track, so that messed with the lap times a bit, but this time, my average laptime was 45.19 and my fastest was 36.42...!
Yay!
Hobbes's average was 45.92 with her fastest being 37.29 and Calvin the Topper of the family won with an average of 38.96 and a fastest of 32.32.
Oh yes, and the title of this post?
2nd session, I'm totally gunning it, foot to the floor and not lifting it all the way up and round the flyover and just coming on to its off-ramp... but I misjudge the racing line and hit the tyre wall on the right-hand side, which ricochets me onto the tyre wall on the left hand side, all the while with the speed of gunning it and coming down the off-ramp.
And so what with the speed and the impact, I rattle around in the seat, bouncing off of the moulded padding on each side until I get control back after the 2nd hit and gun it off again to the next hairpin bend...
I have pretty bad posture so my shoulders are a bit rounded anyway, plus they're forward what with me gripping the wheel... so my shoulder blades are sticking out... and are now rattling off the padding...
So at the bottom of each of my shoulder blades, I have lovely little bruises that look like little wings...
But they're not injuries, oh no... they're badges of honour...
:-)
Saturday 21 July 2007
* Harry Potter spoilers are mean. Just. Plain. Mean.
...
... Why?
... Why would you do that?
What possible pleasure can you get from giving away plot and ending details before the INTENDED MARKET [i.e. children] could possibly have read it?
Ooh look at you, all big and clever and ironic and post-modern and superior and patronising, all this hype and fuss over an over-long not-written-by-a-literary-genius kiddies story about magic, you are SO much better than the pathetic kid-ults who are openly and unashamedly reading a children's book, I know, why not PROVE how much better than them you are by spoiling it for them by revealing the important bits in public? That'll show them!
#sigh#
I respect your right to free speech.
I respect your right to have an opinion.
I agree that the media frenzy has gone overboard and that there are other, more important things going on in the world.
From an adult reader perspective: please respect my right to be able to chose what I read, when and where I read it, to read it as the author intended and get to the plot points as part of the journey and enjoyment, and to switch off from the real world every once in a while by reading fun stuff.
From a parental perspective: stop and think about how it feels, as a child, to have something monumentally exciting that you've looked forward to for aaaaaaaaaaaaages ruined before its even happened.
Because that's what you've done.
I've been lucky so far, I've been able to avoid seeing or hearing spoilers. I don't even know how accurate any of the spoilers have been, nor how many of them have been seen by children [I would expect that at least a few have been unable to avoid them].
Publicising information about the book which ruins it for anyone is just mean.
Publicising this information where children will see it is cruel.
Why not add in about there being no Santa or Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy, or that Big Bird is really a guy in a suit and Elmo is an old dressing gown wrapped around a big black guy's hand?
While you're at it, why not just tell them the facts of life?
Sex education in all its hormonal stickiness, you'll never be a star athlete or award-winning actor so forget that as of right now, you will instead end up in a menial unfulfilling job in a life where debt is the norm and people cheat and are rude and selfish and will ruin things for you just for their own pleasure; life is hard and cruel a lot of the time and there's no magic to solve things with, just hard work, endurance, and sacrifice.
In fact, why not just send the kids out to work?
Might as well make themselves useful and start earning their keep, rather than hanging about the neighbourhood or school and 'playing' or 'reading' or 'learning' all day.
Well, why not?
According to you, childhood means nothing.
It is, according to you, OK to ruin childhood.
Everyone has to grow up sometime, might as well be now, and you're just helping them see reality and life for what it really is, aren't you?
Oh, PLEASE...!!
Childhood is being eroded away so much already: look at how they dress and act and what they own and know and do, compared to 30, 20, even 10 years ago.
Yet even a simple pleasure like reading all 600-odd pages of the last part of a series of magical children's stories that have helped raise interest in books and reading across the globe and finding out for yourself how the whole thing ends - even a sweet little thing like that can't be kept sacred.
Sad, isn't it?
...
... Why?
... Why would you do that?
What possible pleasure can you get from giving away plot and ending details before the INTENDED MARKET [i.e. children] could possibly have read it?
Ooh look at you, all big and clever and ironic and post-modern and superior and patronising, all this hype and fuss over an over-long not-written-by-a-literary-genius kiddies story about magic, you are SO much better than the pathetic kid-ults who are openly and unashamedly reading a children's book, I know, why not PROVE how much better than them you are by spoiling it for them by revealing the important bits in public? That'll show them!
#sigh#
I respect your right to free speech.
I respect your right to have an opinion.
I agree that the media frenzy has gone overboard and that there are other, more important things going on in the world.
From an adult reader perspective: please respect my right to be able to chose what I read, when and where I read it, to read it as the author intended and get to the plot points as part of the journey and enjoyment, and to switch off from the real world every once in a while by reading fun stuff.
From a parental perspective: stop and think about how it feels, as a child, to have something monumentally exciting that you've looked forward to for aaaaaaaaaaaaages ruined before its even happened.
Because that's what you've done.
I've been lucky so far, I've been able to avoid seeing or hearing spoilers. I don't even know how accurate any of the spoilers have been, nor how many of them have been seen by children [I would expect that at least a few have been unable to avoid them].
Publicising information about the book which ruins it for anyone is just mean.
Publicising this information where children will see it is cruel.
Why not add in about there being no Santa or Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy, or that Big Bird is really a guy in a suit and Elmo is an old dressing gown wrapped around a big black guy's hand?
While you're at it, why not just tell them the facts of life?
Sex education in all its hormonal stickiness, you'll never be a star athlete or award-winning actor so forget that as of right now, you will instead end up in a menial unfulfilling job in a life where debt is the norm and people cheat and are rude and selfish and will ruin things for you just for their own pleasure; life is hard and cruel a lot of the time and there's no magic to solve things with, just hard work, endurance, and sacrifice.
In fact, why not just send the kids out to work?
Might as well make themselves useful and start earning their keep, rather than hanging about the neighbourhood or school and 'playing' or 'reading' or 'learning' all day.
Well, why not?
According to you, childhood means nothing.
It is, according to you, OK to ruin childhood.
Everyone has to grow up sometime, might as well be now, and you're just helping them see reality and life for what it really is, aren't you?
Oh, PLEASE...!!
Childhood is being eroded away so much already: look at how they dress and act and what they own and know and do, compared to 30, 20, even 10 years ago.
Yet even a simple pleasure like reading all 600-odd pages of the last part of a series of magical children's stories that have helped raise interest in books and reading across the globe and finding out for yourself how the whole thing ends - even a sweet little thing like that can't be kept sacred.
Sad, isn't it?
...
Tuesday 17 July 2007
* go on go on go on, etc
...
Today I saw a woman
Who looked like Father Ted
It must have been because
She had grey hair upon her head
A pure white high necked blouse
And high necked jacket that was black
But she wasn't saying 'feck erse girls'
Or I'd think of Father Jack
Today I saw a woman
Who looked like Father Ted
It must have been because
She had grey hair upon her head
A pure white high necked blouse
And high necked jacket that was black
But she wasn't saying 'feck erse girls'
Or I'd think of Father Jack
Sunday 15 July 2007
* ... "man-eating badgers" - WTF...?!
...
check out this story...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/6295138.stm
"UK military spokesman Major Mike Shearer said:
"We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area. "
well, that's nice to know...
check out this story...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/6295138.stm
"UK military spokesman Major Mike Shearer said:
"We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area. "
well, that's nice to know...
Saturday 14 July 2007
* When you're gone, you're gone
...
What’s the difference between kidnapping and abduction?
OK, so that sounds a bit like the opening or feed line to a joke, but really - what is the difference, or are they both the same thing? And if they are, what are the criteria for which one is used and when?
According to http://www.dictionary.com/, kidnap is defined as:
"To steal, carry off, or abduct by force or fraud, esp. for use as a hostage or to extract ransom"
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/kidnap
And their definition of abduct is:
1. To carry off or lead away (a person) illegally and in secret or by force, esp. to kidnap. 2. Physiology. To move or draw away from the axis of the body or limb (opposed to adduct).
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/abduct
So it looks like they both essentially mean the same, given that they are each given as a definition of the other.
Anecdotally, I can’t remember the last time I heard about a ‘kidnapping’ – think about it, it always seems to be described as ‘abduction’.
Is it because ‘kidnap’ contains the word ‘kid’ therefore implies the involvement of wee little children, so abduction is preferred because it has no implied or inferred age limit?
Is abduction used because kidnapping [by the definition given above] ‘especially’ involves a hostage or ransom situation?
Does kidnap suggest an element of pre-planning to the act?
Does abduction suggest a more opportunistic or spontaneous event?
Or is it just that ‘kidnap’ sounds a bit old-fashioned and Robert Louis Stevenson-ish, and/or abduction is deemed to be a more emotive [and therefore sensationalist and headline/attention-grabbing] word?
Cynic, me…?
}:->
What’s the difference between kidnapping and abduction?
OK, so that sounds a bit like the opening or feed line to a joke, but really - what is the difference, or are they both the same thing? And if they are, what are the criteria for which one is used and when?
According to http://www.dictionary.com/, kidnap is defined as:
"To steal, carry off, or abduct by force or fraud, esp. for use as a hostage or to extract ransom"
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/kidnap
And their definition of abduct is:
1. To carry off or lead away (a person) illegally and in secret or by force, esp. to kidnap. 2. Physiology. To move or draw away from the axis of the body or limb (opposed to adduct).
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/abduct
So it looks like they both essentially mean the same, given that they are each given as a definition of the other.
Anecdotally, I can’t remember the last time I heard about a ‘kidnapping’ – think about it, it always seems to be described as ‘abduction’.
Is it because ‘kidnap’ contains the word ‘kid’ therefore implies the involvement of wee little children, so abduction is preferred because it has no implied or inferred age limit?
Is abduction used because kidnapping [by the definition given above] ‘especially’ involves a hostage or ransom situation?
Does kidnap suggest an element of pre-planning to the act?
Does abduction suggest a more opportunistic or spontaneous event?
Or is it just that ‘kidnap’ sounds a bit old-fashioned and Robert Louis Stevenson-ish, and/or abduction is deemed to be a more emotive [and therefore sensationalist and headline/attention-grabbing] word?
Cynic, me…?
}:->
Saturday 7 July 2007
* Yay...! Another comment got posted...!
...
http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/07/my-compliments-.html#comment-75167334
but read the actual post from Scott Adams first - it works and was well worth commenting on.
Luv-u
xxx!
http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/07/my-compliments-.html#comment-75167334
but read the actual post from Scott Adams first - it works and was well worth commenting on.
Luv-u
xxx!
Friday 6 July 2007
* Check me out, I'm a published author now!
...
http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/07/how-to-be-creat.html#comment-74979594
OK, OK - so it's just a little comment on an article... but hey, it's the Dilbert guy who approved it, so give me my wee moment of pleasure...
http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/07/how-to-be-creat.html#comment-74979594
OK, OK - so it's just a little comment on an article... but hey, it's the Dilbert guy who approved it, so give me my wee moment of pleasure...
Thursday 5 July 2007
* mahna mahn-bleurgh
Great big thick bitty-wool fluffy knitted scarf folded in half, wrapped around the neck with the 2 loose ends pulled through the loop where the middle of the scarf is at the front = a Muppet has vomited all down your chestal area.
These scarves aren't knitted; they are produced by bulimic Muppets...
These scarves aren't knitted; they are produced by bulimic Muppets...
Tuesday 3 July 2007
* what it the sound of one siren wailing?
Are there waaaaaaaay more sirens than normal or am I just more aware of them...?
Or is it just that I'm home during the daytime just now and they've always been there even if I haven't been here to hear them...?
And while we're on the subject of heightened security alert after the Glasgow Airport Attempted Al-Quaida BBQ on Saturday just there...
Why do I get the feeling that this site was started ironically:
http://www.johnsmeaton.com/
... but people are missing the point and taking it deadly seriously [pardon the pun]...?
Mind you, like it says in the comments section - only in Glasgow do suicide bombers need police protection...
Or is it just that I'm home during the daytime just now and they've always been there even if I haven't been here to hear them...?
And while we're on the subject of heightened security alert after the Glasgow Airport Attempted Al-Quaida BBQ on Saturday just there...
Why do I get the feeling that this site was started ironically:
http://www.johnsmeaton.com/
... but people are missing the point and taking it deadly seriously [pardon the pun]...?
Mind you, like it says in the comments section - only in Glasgow do suicide bombers need police protection...
Thursday 21 June 2007
* A quote to follow so
There are no such things as applied sciences, only applications of science.
- Louis Pasteur
so there...!
- Louis Pasteur
so there...!
* The Appliance of Science
So everyday of working in a building situated on Alexandra Parade, I get whatever bus turns up at the old Renfield Street Odeon and goes along Cathedral Street to the Royal Infirmary and along the Parade.
Reverse journey for the way home: along the Parade to the Royal, along Cathedral Street, into town.
So twice a day I pass Strathclyde Uni.
And every time without fail, my eyes are drawn to a certain building... where the Department of Pure and Applied Chemistry is based.
And so twice a day [at least] I find myself wondering: what's the difference between pure and applied chemistry?
Is it 'pure chemistry' as in 'pure dead brilliant' or 'pure mad mental'...?
"tha' wis pure chemistry, man!"
And if you find a use for some pure chemistry, does it then become applied chemistry because you are using - applying - it to something?
And how does that work for maths - pure and applied mathematics? How can maths be pure when the purpose of a sum/equation/whatever is to work something out and get a result, therefore the maths is being applied to get said result...?
?:-~
Reverse journey for the way home: along the Parade to the Royal, along Cathedral Street, into town.
So twice a day I pass Strathclyde Uni.
And every time without fail, my eyes are drawn to a certain building... where the Department of Pure and Applied Chemistry is based.
And so twice a day [at least] I find myself wondering: what's the difference between pure and applied chemistry?
Is it 'pure chemistry' as in 'pure dead brilliant' or 'pure mad mental'...?
"tha' wis pure chemistry, man!"
And if you find a use for some pure chemistry, does it then become applied chemistry because you are using - applying - it to something?
And how does that work for maths - pure and applied mathematics? How can maths be pure when the purpose of a sum/equation/whatever is to work something out and get a result, therefore the maths is being applied to get said result...?
?:-~
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