* Angel Wing Bruises

...
Went go-carting yesterday for Calvin [the other half]'s birthday; Hobbes [his teenage daughter] came too.

I was dreading it, mainly because I didn't know anything about it - he had decided that this was what he wanted to do for his birthday and he organised it all [don't panic, we got him stuff, he just wanted to do this himself].
He didn't spring his plans on us until after the huuuuge birthday breakfast and a while spent playing with the new games we got him [Family Guy and Destroy All Humans].

So all of a sudden, instead of the lazy day I thought we were going to have, I'm now plunged into one of my worst nightmares...
driving..., fast..., in an unfamiliar vehicle in an unknown place..., surrounded by cheeky wee neds bumping into me..., and being watched by a crowd all the while.

And that's pretty much what it was - at first.

First session, Hobbes and me were last to leave the pit lane and had problems doing so, due to the layout [the gap onto the track from where our carts were parked wasn't big enough]- so everyone else [4 neds and Calvin] [ooh, now THAT's a boy band name!] [or possibly a Daily Record cartoon strip] were already about three quarters of the way round on their slow out lap - so the neds went ahead and started racing while I was still on mine.

It's a bit intimidating being lapped and bumped at high speed by a bunch of competitive neds on your first time out, I can tell you.

However, I persevered and pootled along, getting to grips with the track and the layout and the handling and the speed, and was possibly the most courteous racing driver since Auntie Hamiltoe-nail held the steering wheel attachment at hand positions 10 to 2 and looked over her shoulder to reverse while playing a Playstation rallying game.

I just got used to checking behind me before manoeuvring [in case the cheeky wee neds bumped me again] and just let anyone who came up behind me get past.

At the end of the first session, I was glad to be finished but surprised at how I felt I had got used to it.

Unsurprisingly I had a pretty high average lap time [51.51] and my fastest lap was 40.06

BUT

Hobbes had the 3rd fastest lap time OF THE DAY SO FAR...!

She even beat her dad by 0.1 of a second...!

She got 32.10 and he got 32.20...!

Naturally, he put this down to her being smaller and lighter therefore the cart would go quicker for her with less 'bulk', and also her starting track position meaning that she had a pretty clear run without ned-interference... [ned-terference?]

But anyway, they are in positions 3 and 4 in the day's top 20 racers.

Calvin then tells me that he saw what the neds had been doing to me, and he had given them a pretty hard time on the track, and the marshalls had given them a bit of a b*ll*cking too, which was nice [for me anyway].

So we have a bit of a break between sessions and watch a couple of groups of speed-freak petrol heads giving it some, then it’s our turn again. This time, we're in a group with another family.

And this time, I did SO much better...!
I would even say that I enjoyed it...!

The race got red-flagged [stopped] for a while when the wee guy from the other family had a crash into the tyre wall that necessitated the marshall lifting the cart off of the top of it and back onto the track, so that messed with the lap times a bit, but this time, my average laptime was 45.19 and my fastest was 36.42...!
Yay!

Hobbes's average was 45.92 with her fastest being 37.29 and Calvin the Topper of the family won with an average of 38.96 and a fastest of 32.32.

Oh yes, and the title of this post?

2nd session, I'm totally gunning it, foot to the floor and not lifting it all the way up and round the flyover and just coming on to its off-ramp... but I misjudge the racing line and hit the tyre wall on the right-hand side, which ricochets me onto the tyre wall on the left hand side, all the while with the speed of gunning it and coming down the off-ramp.

And so what with the speed and the impact, I rattle around in the seat, bouncing off of the moulded padding on each side until I get control back after the 2nd hit and gun it off again to the next hairpin bend...

I have pretty bad posture so my shoulders are a bit rounded anyway, plus they're forward what with me gripping the wheel... so my shoulder blades are sticking out... and are now rattling off the padding...

So at the bottom of each of my shoulder blades, I have lovely little bruises that look like little wings...

But they're not injuries, oh no... they're badges of honour...

:-)