* a book and cover type misalignment

...
So I got on the bus to go into town yesterday and as it was a single decker it was already fairly busy (even at quarter past 9 on a Saturday morning), so I ended up going right up to the back to be able to get a seat.

As I sit down I become aware that across the aisle are a couple of ned-like individuals... all shellsuits and nasal and hungover and heavily gelled cropped hair plastered to their heads and acne and big ears, and they're already deep in conversation.
[was 'Acne' the 8th dwarf who didn't make it into the final cut of the Snow White story for reasons of ickyness?]

As I come into hearing range and my brain automatically starts to translate the tone and lingo and pace and articulation, I realise what I've just heard...

One of them had made a comment which involved their mate, and picking up a stripper.

* ew *

I know that young men often regale each other with tales of conquests both genuine and exaggerated...

... but * ew *

This is a bus full of families and old ladies...!

This is no place to celebrate the coupling of a greasy sub-educated yet clearly overpaid waste of oxygen with a female who can only be of loose morals and little standards, if that was her customer or her partner of choice...

Oh, just * ew *

And then I realise...
... they're talking about DIY.

Their mate was actually involved in the collection of a device of the steam-based-wallpaper-removing variety.

... oops...

Apologies, boys.
It might say more about me than you that my immediate reaction to your comment was the worst and naughtiest one.

Then again...
You go with what you know - and I've travelled that bus route often enough to know that given some of the parts of town that it travels through, more often than not my first interpretation of the comments would be the right one...

* ew *

...

* is that buzzing coming from the radio...?

...
With a headline like this, how can ANYONE resist...

"Lorry carrying 12m bees overturns"

This is the link to the story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7482609.stm

Basically...
"Motorists on Canada's biggest highway ended up with a bee in their bonnet after a truck transporting 12m of the insects overturned.
The lorry was carrying 330 crates of honey bees when it tipped over on a ramp in St Leonard, New Brunswick.
Bee experts were called in to help deal with the accident on the Trans-Canada Highway...The BBC's Lee Carter in Toronto says the bees had been used to pollinate a crop of blueberries, and were being transported home when the accident happened...."

And it's real, it's a real story and not from The Onion or Newsbiscuit or anything...!

Now, I've heard of a threat that involved "a jiffy bag full of wasps" - but a truck full of bees...!? Really...?!

It kind of makes sense when you read the article, but the idea of truck full o' bees is just weird... so is a "bee expert" like a bee wrangler or something like that to round them up once and get them all back in the truck once they've done their a-pollinatin'...?

Do they have tiny wee whips to head 'em up and move' em out...?

Do they have to do a headcount like on school trips to make sure they've not left any of them behind...?

:-?
...