…
People, people, people…
Please…!!
Volume does not *necessarily* make things better
For example…
Chav and Ned commuters
Playing your thumpy thumpy gerbil-heartbeat-bpm smurf-voice-go-techno nonsense at full volume through your tiny tinny mobile phone speaker on the bus does not make it good; in fairness, nothing would make that good, so just shut the hell up.
Perhaps the rest of us should play some full volume Barry Manilow or Val Doonican as revenge?
Ladies of all ages
Screetching things does not make you seem popular and clever and all Sarah Jessica Parker Sex-in-the-City sophisticated-like.
It just draws attention to the fact that you are a loud annoying orange-skinned bad-blonde-hair-job alcopop-swigging Senga wearing Primark clothes that are 2 sizes too small.
People who think they are intelligent
Saying something loud does not magically transform it into something witty and clever.
No amount of volume when you say things like “But I think you’ll find that on reflection, Posh Spice is *actually* the very embodiment of the ironic, in-control, post-modern feminist” is going to do that.
Pubs and bars
Suddenly turning the music volume up from, say 3 to 11 in one go at 7pm on a Friday night will not automatically bestow your place with atmosphere and turn it into party-central, it just pee’s off the punters who nipped in for a post-work pint because now they can’t hear themselves think let alone b1tch about their idiot workmates.
So if you and every other plank that thinks that louder is *always* better and that it is their inalienable human right to be as loud as possible all the time could just drop dead or at least keep it down a bit, that would be great.
NB: I posted a much swearier version of this on Holy Moly earlier today, but toned it down a bit (a lot) for public consumption on here...
Friday 31 August 2007
Thursday 30 August 2007
* there's got to be a bit of give and take in the working world these days
…
So there’s this story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6969791.stm
And its amusingly related spoof:
http://newsbiscuit.com/article/facebook-employee-sacked-for-spending-entire-working-day-on-excel-185
All I know is, I used to work in a place where the pace and workload was constantly hectic and unpredictable, and so after totally knocking your pan in doing nothing else but this one thing for a solid hour putting together stuff that someone needed NOW!!! … It was nice to have a break and a bit of a surf for fun stuff, as well as stretch the old legs and go for a pee, etc.
It worked really well to relieve the pressure and also helped us bond as a team, sharing daft stuff and chatting about what we’d found.
Then they changed the system and we lost access to a bunch of stuff: it was really frustrating, made you felt like you were doing something wrong and disciplinary-worthy when you tried to access a ‘forbidden’ site [like the lottery results, because it was classed as gambling... or YouTube because it was ‘entertainment’…] and meant that we were then #more# likely to work through our lunch-hours for lack of anything else to do, thus making us more stressed and resentful of the environment and not doing much for the old work-life balance or health and safety ‘take regular breaks’ advice…
I’ve also worked in call centres with no internet access, where there came a point when there was nothing left to do: calls had died off, files and drawers had been tidied and re-tidied, work-based quizzes and such had been exhausted, newspapers weren’t allowed because newsprint would mucky up the desks, games and books and magazines weren’t allowed because it looked unprofessional… we were tied to our cubicles by the length of our headset leads like a junkyard dog on a too-short chain, and all that was left to do was sit about and chat, which could get out-of-hand and even too noisy when one of us finally did get a call through…
I know there are people who totally rip the pi55 out of it and do nothing but surf and shop all day, I’ve worked with one who organised their entire wedding and every holiday on company time with company resources.
Heck, I’ve even done it myself: I was made redundant but was made to work out my full notice period rather than being put on garden leave, so for a full 4 weeks I was paid to come in and surf and job-hunt and answer the odd query about the stuff I used to do.
It was such a waste, it meant I had to fork out for bus fares and do a 1 hour 2 bus commute twice a day just to sit about doing nothing, which I could do much cheaper #and# in pyjamas if I had been allowed to stay home…
But then again, I’ve used internet access to do stuff I would have otherwise have needed to take time off for, like banking, arranging appointments, getting stuff from people and even surfing for online information that would help the job/business I was currently in, and so on.
So I guess it has to come down to trust: as long as the work is done when it needs to be done and is of an at-least satisfactory standard, then what’s the problem with surfing in-between times?
So there’s this story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6969791.stm
And its amusingly related spoof:
http://newsbiscuit.com/article/facebook-employee-sacked-for-spending-entire-working-day-on-excel-185
All I know is, I used to work in a place where the pace and workload was constantly hectic and unpredictable, and so after totally knocking your pan in doing nothing else but this one thing for a solid hour putting together stuff that someone needed NOW!!! … It was nice to have a break and a bit of a surf for fun stuff, as well as stretch the old legs and go for a pee, etc.
It worked really well to relieve the pressure and also helped us bond as a team, sharing daft stuff and chatting about what we’d found.
Then they changed the system and we lost access to a bunch of stuff: it was really frustrating, made you felt like you were doing something wrong and disciplinary-worthy when you tried to access a ‘forbidden’ site [like the lottery results, because it was classed as gambling... or YouTube because it was ‘entertainment’…] and meant that we were then #more# likely to work through our lunch-hours for lack of anything else to do, thus making us more stressed and resentful of the environment and not doing much for the old work-life balance or health and safety ‘take regular breaks’ advice…
I’ve also worked in call centres with no internet access, where there came a point when there was nothing left to do: calls had died off, files and drawers had been tidied and re-tidied, work-based quizzes and such had been exhausted, newspapers weren’t allowed because newsprint would mucky up the desks, games and books and magazines weren’t allowed because it looked unprofessional… we were tied to our cubicles by the length of our headset leads like a junkyard dog on a too-short chain, and all that was left to do was sit about and chat, which could get out-of-hand and even too noisy when one of us finally did get a call through…
I know there are people who totally rip the pi55 out of it and do nothing but surf and shop all day, I’ve worked with one who organised their entire wedding and every holiday on company time with company resources.
Heck, I’ve even done it myself: I was made redundant but was made to work out my full notice period rather than being put on garden leave, so for a full 4 weeks I was paid to come in and surf and job-hunt and answer the odd query about the stuff I used to do.
It was such a waste, it meant I had to fork out for bus fares and do a 1 hour 2 bus commute twice a day just to sit about doing nothing, which I could do much cheaper #and# in pyjamas if I had been allowed to stay home…
But then again, I’ve used internet access to do stuff I would have otherwise have needed to take time off for, like banking, arranging appointments, getting stuff from people and even surfing for online information that would help the job/business I was currently in, and so on.
So I guess it has to come down to trust: as long as the work is done when it needs to be done and is of an at-least satisfactory standard, then what’s the problem with surfing in-between times?
Friday 24 August 2007
* this is a nation of idiots... and most of them are being broadcast...
...
Got these in an an email...
QUIZMANIA (ITV)
Greg Scott: We're looking for an occupation beginning with 'T'.
Contestant: Doctor.
Scott: No, it's 'T'. 'T' for Tommy. 'T' for Tango.
Contestant: Oh, right . . . (pause) ... . . Doctor.
DANNY KELLY SHOW (RADIO WM)
Kelly: Which French Mediterranean town hosts a famous film festival every year?
Contestant: I don't know, I need a clue.
Kelly: OK. What do beans come in?
Contestant: Cartons?
BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
Contestant: Leicester.
BBC NORFOLK
Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: I don't know.
White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?
Contestant: Arm.
White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're ... . .?
Contestant: Strong.
White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?
Contestant: Louis.
White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: Frank Sinatra?
LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS)
Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy?
Contestant: France.
Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.
Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.
Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?
Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.
Trelinski: Just guess a country then.
Contestant: Paris.
UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?
Contestant: Homosexuals.
Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.
THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: prison, or the Conservative Party?
Contestant: The Conservative Party.
BEACON RADIO (WOLVERHAMPTON)
DJ Mark: For Pounds 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?
THE WEAKEST LINK
Anne Robinson: In traffic, what 'J' is where two roads meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway?
UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi's first name?
Contestant: Goosey?
GWR FM (Bristol)
Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.
RTE RADIO 2FM (IRELAND)
Presenter: What is the name of the long- running TV comedy show about pensioners: Last Of The ...?
Caller: Mohicans.
QUIZMANIA
Greg Scott: We're looking for a word that goes in front of 'clock'.
Contestant: Grandfather.
Scott: Grandfather clock is already up there, say something else.
Contestant: Panda.
PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER)
Phil: What's 11 squared?
Contestant: I don't know.
Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.
Contestant: Is it five?
RICHARD AND JUDY
Q: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?
A: Forrest Gump.
RICHARD AND JUDY
Leslie: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
Contestant: Er . . .
Leslie: He makes bread .. .
Contestant: Er . . .
Leslie: He makes cakes .. .
Contestant: Kipling Street?
MAGIC 52 (NORTHEAST ENGLAND)
Presenter: In what year was President Kennedy assassinated?
Contestant: Erm .. .
Presenter: Well, let's put it this way - he didn't see 1964.
Contestant: 1965?
SIMPLY THE BEST (ITV)
Phil Tufnell: How many Olympic Games have been held?
Contestant: Six.
Tufnell: Higher!
Contestant: Five.
FORT BOYARD (CHALLENGE TV)
Jodie Marsh: Arrange these two groups of letters to form a word - CHED and PIT.
Team: Chedpit.
LINCS FM PHONE-IN
Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona.
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.
RADIO 1 EARLY MORNING SHOW
Presenter: How many toes would three people have in total?
Contestant: 23.
NOTTS AND CROSSES QUIZ (BBC RADIO NOTTINGHAM)
Jeff Owen: In which country is Mount Everest?
Contestant (long pause): Er, it's not in Scotland, is it?
THE MICK GIRDLER SHOW (BBC RADIO SOLENT)
Girdler: I'm looking for an island in the Atlantic whose name includes the letter 'e'.
Contestant: Ghana.
Girdler: No, listen. It's an island in the Atlantic Ocean.
Contestant: New Zealand.
NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
Question: What is the world's largest continent?
Contestant: The Pacific
ROCK FM (PRESTON)
Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo Da Vinci.
Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
Steve Le Fevre: What was signed to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
Contestant: Magna Carta.
JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?
Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... er . . . er .. . three?
NATIONAL LOTTERY
Eamonn Holmes: There are three states of matter: solid, liquid and what?
Contestant: Jelly.
RICHARD ALLINSON SHOW (RADIO 2)
Allinson: What international brand shares its name with the Greek goddess of victory?
Contestant (after long deliberation): Erm, Kellogg's?
BLIND DATE (ITV)
Girl: Name a book written by Jane Austen.
Boy: Charlotte Bronte.
CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL)
Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller: Japan.
Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er . . . Mexico?
DOG EAT DOG (BBC1)
Ulrika Jonsson: Who wrote Lord of the Rings?
Contestant: Enid Blyton
PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE)
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.
NATIONAL LOTTERY
Eamonn Holmes: Dizzy Gillespie is famous for playing . .. what?
Contestant: Basketball.
NOTTS AND CROSSES QUIZ
Jeff Owen: Where did the D-Day landings take place?
Contestant (after pause): Pearl Harbor?
DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)
Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland?
Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
Contestant: No.
PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er . . .
Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . . .
Contestant: Blimey?
Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .
Contestant: (Silence)
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .
Contestant: Walked?
NATIONAL LOTTERY
Dale Winton: Skegness is a seaside resort on the coast of which sea:a) Irish Sea, b) English Channel, c) North Sea?
Contestant: Oh, I know that, you can start writing out the cheque now, Dale. It's on the east coast, so it must be the Irish Sea.
THE VAULT
Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
Contestant: Nostalgia.
LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)
Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?
Contestant: Jewish.
Presenter: That's close enough.
BREAKFAST SHOW, RADIO 1
Chris Moyles: Which 'S' is a kind of whale that can grow up to 80 tonnes?
Contestant: Ummm .. .
Moyles: It begins with 'S' and rhymes with 'perm'.
Contestant: Shark.
STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)
Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?
Contestant: Jesus.
* avast me hearties, 25 days to go and countin'...!
...
some useful websites, me maties...!
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html
http://www.braingle.com/trivia/3815/can-ye-talk-like-a-pirate.html
... and for the more creative among us...
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/knitlikeapirate.html
http://scrubberbum.typepad.com/moth_heaven/2006/07/this_might_be_a.html
http://www.jinx.com/men/shirts/geek/yarrrn.html
some useful websites, me maties...!
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html
http://www.braingle.com/trivia/3815/can-ye-talk-like-a-pirate.html
... and for the more creative among us...
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/knitlikeapirate.html
http://scrubberbum.typepad.com/moth_heaven/2006/07/this_might_be_a.html
http://www.jinx.com/men/shirts/geek/yarrrn.html
Thursday 23 August 2007
* awesome gadget...!
...
This is a wee doohickey that works with itunes and turns your ipod into a timer for interval training workouts or anything where you want an audible signal to change activity without having to clock watch…!
Basically, you download the zip file, add the ‘ding’ noise mp3 to your itunes, choose your music and set up a playlist in your itunes for your session(s) then use the “create playlist vbs” thingumy which is also in the zipfile.
You tell it what the name of your playlist is, what intervals you want (for example “5,1:30” means you want 5 minutes then 90 seconds) and a new playlist pops up for you, all ready to use.
The first track(s) will play for 5 minutes then you’ll hear a ding and the next track will play for 90 seconds then you’ll hear a ding, then the next track(s) will play for 5 minutes then you’ll hear a ding and the next track will play for 90 seconds then etc etc…!
So as long as you remember to take your ipod off of shuffle, you just set it a-playing and off you go, every time you hear the music change and the “ding!” it’s time to change activity…!
http://www.lifehacker.com/software/running/interval-running-itunes-playlist-154491.php
The actual gadget is at the bottom of this page:http://www.active.com/donate/tntntx/jeffwelch
This is a wee doohickey that works with itunes and turns your ipod into a timer for interval training workouts or anything where you want an audible signal to change activity without having to clock watch…!
Basically, you download the zip file, add the ‘ding’ noise mp3 to your itunes, choose your music and set up a playlist in your itunes for your session(s) then use the “create playlist vbs” thingumy which is also in the zipfile.
You tell it what the name of your playlist is, what intervals you want (for example “5,1:30” means you want 5 minutes then 90 seconds) and a new playlist pops up for you, all ready to use.
The first track(s) will play for 5 minutes then you’ll hear a ding and the next track will play for 90 seconds then you’ll hear a ding, then the next track(s) will play for 5 minutes then you’ll hear a ding and the next track will play for 90 seconds then etc etc…!
So as long as you remember to take your ipod off of shuffle, you just set it a-playing and off you go, every time you hear the music change and the “ding!” it’s time to change activity…!
http://www.lifehacker.com/software/running/interval-running-itunes-playlist-154491.php
The actual gadget is at the bottom of this page:http://www.active.com/donate/tntntx/jeffwelch
Sunday 19 August 2007
* literally humped to death...
...
http://www.teletext.co.uk/news/national/16/Pet+camel+kills+woman.aspx
I know I said I wanted to be something and be known and recognised and stuff, but let's be honest... making the news for being killed by an over-amourous birthday present isn't likely to be something you'd choose to be remembered for, is it...?
http://www.teletext.co.uk/news/national/16/Pet+camel+kills+woman.aspx
I know I said I wanted to be something and be known and recognised and stuff, but let's be honest... making the news for being killed by an over-amourous birthday present isn't likely to be something you'd choose to be remembered for, is it...?
Saturday 18 August 2007
* what exactly is it that you're famous for...?
...
Ok, so when I was young, I wanted to be... something...
An actress
A page 3 girl
A princess
A checkout girl
I knew I wanted to be seen and recognised
[Hey! Aren't you the girl who sells me my scran and booze every Saturday? You’re great! I love you, man! Woooo...!]
- BUT -
I also knew that for most of these, I didn't have what it takes - sufficient talent, attributes, connections, etc
Most of all, I just didn't have the drive
I knew I wasn't willing to take the risks and do all the incredibly hard ongoing work needed to be a long-term success in the first 3 on the above list
Them’s the breaks, get over it, get on with life - next at this till, please!
Except that now, there seems to be an attitude - if not a whole generation - that seems to be all about shortcuts - look at the number of reality shows and docu-soaps and talk shows and real life dramas and reconstructions and the hordes [wh*re-ds?] of people queuing up to appear on them
In the UK version of Big Brother, housemates are voted out by the public and more often than not they are booed vociferously on leaving the house, both of which implies that they are figures of utter hate…
Except that then they appear non-stop in newspapers and magazines and in other TV shows until the next person leaves the house and we start all over again with this new victim- they get paid for just being themselves, until we are bored with them - then they keep wh*ring and demeaning themselves more and more to try to keep themselves in the public eye
Worse still, there's the karaoke x-pop-‘talent’-factor-star-idol shows that
[1] Humiliate and bully people and play the incident over and over again to millions of viewers
[2] Promotes even more blandness to the people who think that they can do it better themselves
Out of all the shows of these types, how many success stories have there really actually been?
Who has ever been on/won one of these things and had an easy ride being famous – because presumably that’s why they did it, fame and money and recognition for minimal effort, no?
Would you want to go to a job interview and have to deal with the fact that you’d seen the interviewer’s rudey bits on national TV [or worse, they saw yours when you were on…]?
Would you want your doctor or surgeon talking you through an impending complicated and life-threatening procedure knowing that you’d recently seen them lying and drinking heavily and being copiously sick in some televised task?
Would an undertaker take you seriously and arrange a funeral for you, if they’d seen you do a 'comedy corpse' skit on a prank show?
Does ANYONE agree to appear on a Jerry Springer/ Ricki Lake/ Trisha Goddard/ Jeremy Kyle type shows without being at least a little suspicious or worried that they might not come out of it looking snowy-white and blameless themselves?
Why would you put yourself up for the tell-all secrets that inevitably come out – why do you think the world wants to know about your childhood/ troubled past/ ex-partners/ struggle with whatever affliction is in fashion right now?
[oh mi Gawd, anorexia is like SO 1990s… depression is SO the new eating disorder these days, don’t you know…]
Is your ‘heart-breaking battle’ really any different to what any one of the rest of us goes through in life, without all the public-eye pity-me attention seeking, of course…?
And what in the wide wide world of sports would make you think that the world wants to watch you sit around and burp and f@rt and scratch your @rse and hear you talk about yourself?
Why would you think that you’d be different - that you’d be THE ONE who really really made it, who had a consistent and lengthy and rewarding and awarded and lauded and respected and well-paid career out of making an utter utter f@nny of yourself on telly?
And how will it feel when you aren’t recognised?
And you don’t get special treatment?
Or when you get pitying and/or disdainful looks when people do realise who you are and what you did so publicly and is probably still available on YouTube?
Wait – are these the audition questions?
Well they should be.
Can the general public please go back to having a little dignity and being afraid of shame, and stop wanting and expecing absolutely everything immediately, please?
And can TV people please stop paying people to humiliate themselves in the name of entertainment?
please...?
Ok, so when I was young, I wanted to be... something...
An actress
A page 3 girl
A princess
A checkout girl
I knew I wanted to be seen and recognised
[Hey! Aren't you the girl who sells me my scran and booze every Saturday? You’re great! I love you, man! Woooo...!]
- BUT -
I also knew that for most of these, I didn't have what it takes - sufficient talent, attributes, connections, etc
Most of all, I just didn't have the drive
I knew I wasn't willing to take the risks and do all the incredibly hard ongoing work needed to be a long-term success in the first 3 on the above list
Them’s the breaks, get over it, get on with life - next at this till, please!
Except that now, there seems to be an attitude - if not a whole generation - that seems to be all about shortcuts - look at the number of reality shows and docu-soaps and talk shows and real life dramas and reconstructions and the hordes [wh*re-ds?] of people queuing up to appear on them
In the UK version of Big Brother, housemates are voted out by the public and more often than not they are booed vociferously on leaving the house, both of which implies that they are figures of utter hate…
Except that then they appear non-stop in newspapers and magazines and in other TV shows until the next person leaves the house and we start all over again with this new victim- they get paid for just being themselves, until we are bored with them - then they keep wh*ring and demeaning themselves more and more to try to keep themselves in the public eye
Worse still, there's the karaoke x-pop-‘talent’-factor-star-idol shows that
[1] Humiliate and bully people and play the incident over and over again to millions of viewers
[2] Promotes even more blandness to the people who think that they can do it better themselves
Out of all the shows of these types, how many success stories have there really actually been?
Who has ever been on/won one of these things and had an easy ride being famous – because presumably that’s why they did it, fame and money and recognition for minimal effort, no?
Would you want to go to a job interview and have to deal with the fact that you’d seen the interviewer’s rudey bits on national TV [or worse, they saw yours when you were on…]?
Would you want your doctor or surgeon talking you through an impending complicated and life-threatening procedure knowing that you’d recently seen them lying and drinking heavily and being copiously sick in some televised task?
Would an undertaker take you seriously and arrange a funeral for you, if they’d seen you do a 'comedy corpse' skit on a prank show?
Does ANYONE agree to appear on a Jerry Springer/ Ricki Lake/ Trisha Goddard/ Jeremy Kyle type shows without being at least a little suspicious or worried that they might not come out of it looking snowy-white and blameless themselves?
Why would you put yourself up for the tell-all secrets that inevitably come out – why do you think the world wants to know about your childhood/ troubled past/ ex-partners/ struggle with whatever affliction is in fashion right now?
[oh mi Gawd, anorexia is like SO 1990s… depression is SO the new eating disorder these days, don’t you know…]
Is your ‘heart-breaking battle’ really any different to what any one of the rest of us goes through in life, without all the public-eye pity-me attention seeking, of course…?
And what in the wide wide world of sports would make you think that the world wants to watch you sit around and burp and f@rt and scratch your @rse and hear you talk about yourself?
Why would you think that you’d be different - that you’d be THE ONE who really really made it, who had a consistent and lengthy and rewarding and awarded and lauded and respected and well-paid career out of making an utter utter f@nny of yourself on telly?
And how will it feel when you aren’t recognised?
And you don’t get special treatment?
Or when you get pitying and/or disdainful looks when people do realise who you are and what you did so publicly and is probably still available on YouTube?
Wait – are these the audition questions?
Well they should be.
Can the general public please go back to having a little dignity and being afraid of shame, and stop wanting and expecing absolutely everything immediately, please?
And can TV people please stop paying people to humiliate themselves in the name of entertainment?
please...?
Wednesday 15 August 2007
* We are all lovely just the way we are... or are normal-looking, at least...
...
Check out this site:
http://www.iwanexstudio.com/
Go to 'portfolio' and select a picture: it will open in a pop-up.
Once it does, move your cursor so that it's over the picture and hey presto! You can NOW see it in all its pre-air-brushed glory!
* Check out the b00by-fication of most of the women...!
** Check out the slimification and de-shadowing and de-skin-toning of just about everyone...!
*** Play "now you see it, now you don't" with Beyonce's muffin top..!
Just goes to show, you should never meet your idols... because at this rate, you'd be lucky to recognise them in real life...
}:->
Check out this site:
http://www.iwanexstudio.com/
Go to 'portfolio' and select a picture: it will open in a pop-up.
Once it does, move your cursor so that it's over the picture and hey presto! You can NOW see it in all its pre-air-brushed glory!
* Check out the b00by-fication of most of the women...!
** Check out the slimification and de-shadowing and de-skin-toning of just about everyone...!
*** Play "now you see it, now you don't" with Beyonce's muffin top..!
Just goes to show, you should never meet your idols... because at this rate, you'd be lucky to recognise them in real life...
}:->
Tuesday 14 August 2007
* another comment posted
...
aaaaaand she does it again - a little gentle humour and exaggeration at Calvin's expense...
http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/08/basic-instruc-3.html#comment-79465733
it's for a good cause, it's to maybe help out a new cartoonist... honest...
http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/08/basic-instruc-1.html
luvya Calvin!
:-*
aaaaaand she does it again - a little gentle humour and exaggeration at Calvin's expense...
http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/08/basic-instruc-3.html#comment-79465733
it's for a good cause, it's to maybe help out a new cartoonist... honest...
http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/08/basic-instruc-1.html
luvya Calvin!
:-*
* woo, get me...!
...
Just did my very first on-formatting customisation of my blog... check out my sweet Glasgow Time external provider clock...!
And to slightly misquote Calvin and Hobbes: "don't mock my clock or I'll clean your clock"
:-)
Just did my very first on-formatting customisation of my blog... check out my sweet Glasgow Time external provider clock...!
And to slightly misquote Calvin and Hobbes: "don't mock my clock or I'll clean your clock"
:-)
Monday 13 August 2007
* mass debate? [teehee]
...
interesting point... what's the difference between 'exercising a freedom' and 'crossing a boundary'...?
When does something cease to be one thing and turn into the other?
or can they?
can they only ever be one thing?
can it be one thing then turn into the other and then go back?
and is it always bad to cross a boundary?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/6940829.stm
interesting point... what's the difference between 'exercising a freedom' and 'crossing a boundary'...?
When does something cease to be one thing and turn into the other?
or can they?
can they only ever be one thing?
can it be one thing then turn into the other and then go back?
and is it always bad to cross a boundary?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/6940829.stm
Sunday 12 August 2007
* Facebook works!
...
Got up this morning to find a message from an old school friend - who's now married with 2 kids and living in Canada!
Hooray and how unexpected and lovely!
I'm convinced so far - this Facebook doohickey is slightly addictive and fun!
Now, if only I can use it to find me a job...
:-)
Got up this morning to find a message from an old school friend - who's now married with 2 kids and living in Canada!
Hooray and how unexpected and lovely!
I'm convinced so far - this Facebook doohickey is slightly addictive and fun!
Now, if only I can use it to find me a job...
:-)
Saturday 11 August 2007
* succumbed. given in. joined the revolution. etc etc
...
After a little prompting from Calvin, I have finally joined Facebook.
And spent loads of time on it already... strangely compelling... even with only 3 friends in there...!
Still avoiding MySpace - the difference seems to be that anyone can find you and see anything in there, so you get random 'friend requests' from all sorts, whereas in Facebook you seem to be more able to control who sees what, which is better from an 'at risk of being googled while jobhunting' perspective...
After a little prompting from Calvin, I have finally joined Facebook.
And spent loads of time on it already... strangely compelling... even with only 3 friends in there...!
Still avoiding MySpace - the difference seems to be that anyone can find you and see anything in there, so you get random 'friend requests' from all sorts, whereas in Facebook you seem to be more able to control who sees what, which is better from an 'at risk of being googled while jobhunting' perspective...
Thursday 9 August 2007
* a bit of an update on this week
...
Prior to Monday's little ray of sunshine news, I was at the dentist.
Was dreading it a wee bit as it turns out I hadn't been since June last year [I would have put money on me being there in November...] plus there had been a bit of too-ing and fro-ing trying to get the appointment and I'm grinding my teeth and biting my cheeks in my sleep just now...
So anyway, as usual I turn up about 5 minutes before the appointment time, and as usual the dentist is running late, so I'm sitting about watching some middle class property nonsense on BBC daytime...
["Tarquil and Jacinta bought this place for £100,000 and after spending £25,000 doing it up to their taste they're going to rent it out thus depriving first time buyers of the chance to buy it and imposing their awful bourgeois taste on someone forced to pay over the odds for the privilege just so they'll have a place to live..."]
Eventually I get called in and it's all looking a bit bare. They're renovating and innovating too - instead of where there were store cupboards, there's now a bare wall with a TV screen... so that they can show you your teeth during procedures! [or you can be watching something else to take your mind off it]
Check-up goes fine, root canal treatment has been a real success, no problems with my teeth or gums except for a little tartar and staining.
But to me, this IS a change - I never have problems with those!
So I book in to see the hygienist the next morning [oh, not knowing what fateful letter awaited me back home!]
Walking down the next day for the hygienist appointment the next day, it occurs to me that its OK that there's tartar and staining: over the past year, my coffee intake has increased from maybe 2 cups a week to 2-4 cups a day...!
That's a whooooooole lot more delicious mocha coloured and flavoured liquid slooshing around the old pearly whites...!
Add to that the fact that I'm trying one of those new sonic 'on board computer' toothbrushes and not being convinced by it, and I'm not surprised my teeth aren't like they normally are...
However...
The hygienist tells me that there is actually very little work needing done Very little tartar, minimal staining - and thanks me as it means she can have a wee break!
Apparently, my teeth are very difficult to brush but I'm doing a good job, such a good job in fact that I don't have to worry about my coffee intake as a little tartar and staining is normal and I'm covered for scales and polishes on my dental plan anyway.
And the reason I'm not convinced about the sonicky computery toothbrush doohickey?
The hygienist tells me that all the evidence suggests that these toothbrushes are really good - but I've been doing such a good job with my normal brush and floss that I'm not seeing or feeling as much of a difference as other people might...
So in summary, I'm really really good at dental hygiene i.e. brushing and flossing my teeth and keeping my mouthal area super-duper clean and healthy.
It was nice to get such an unexpected compliment.
And if we can work out how I can get a rewarding and well-paid career out of brushing my own teeth, man I have got it maaaaade!
Open wide!
:-@
Prior to Monday's little ray of sunshine news, I was at the dentist.
Was dreading it a wee bit as it turns out I hadn't been since June last year [I would have put money on me being there in November...] plus there had been a bit of too-ing and fro-ing trying to get the appointment and I'm grinding my teeth and biting my cheeks in my sleep just now...
So anyway, as usual I turn up about 5 minutes before the appointment time, and as usual the dentist is running late, so I'm sitting about watching some middle class property nonsense on BBC daytime...
["Tarquil and Jacinta bought this place for £100,000 and after spending £25,000 doing it up to their taste they're going to rent it out thus depriving first time buyers of the chance to buy it and imposing their awful bourgeois taste on someone forced to pay over the odds for the privilege just so they'll have a place to live..."]
Eventually I get called in and it's all looking a bit bare. They're renovating and innovating too - instead of where there were store cupboards, there's now a bare wall with a TV screen... so that they can show you your teeth during procedures! [or you can be watching something else to take your mind off it]
Check-up goes fine, root canal treatment has been a real success, no problems with my teeth or gums except for a little tartar and staining.
But to me, this IS a change - I never have problems with those!
So I book in to see the hygienist the next morning [oh, not knowing what fateful letter awaited me back home!]
Walking down the next day for the hygienist appointment the next day, it occurs to me that its OK that there's tartar and staining: over the past year, my coffee intake has increased from maybe 2 cups a week to 2-4 cups a day...!
That's a whooooooole lot more delicious mocha coloured and flavoured liquid slooshing around the old pearly whites...!
Add to that the fact that I'm trying one of those new sonic 'on board computer' toothbrushes and not being convinced by it, and I'm not surprised my teeth aren't like they normally are...
However...
The hygienist tells me that there is actually very little work needing done Very little tartar, minimal staining - and thanks me as it means she can have a wee break!
Apparently, my teeth are very difficult to brush but I'm doing a good job, such a good job in fact that I don't have to worry about my coffee intake as a little tartar and staining is normal and I'm covered for scales and polishes on my dental plan anyway.
And the reason I'm not convinced about the sonicky computery toothbrush doohickey?
The hygienist tells me that all the evidence suggests that these toothbrushes are really good - but I've been doing such a good job with my normal brush and floss that I'm not seeing or feeling as much of a difference as other people might...
So in summary, I'm really really good at dental hygiene i.e. brushing and flossing my teeth and keeping my mouthal area super-duper clean and healthy.
It was nice to get such an unexpected compliment.
And if we can work out how I can get a rewarding and well-paid career out of brushing my own teeth, man I have got it maaaaade!
Open wide!
:-@
Monday 6 August 2007
* not the greatest of days...
So as you probably have heard, I got the old K-B letter from [name witheld to protect the guilty] about the compliance-checker-trainer type job this morning.
Surprise surprise it went to... the internal candidate.
Who's already been doing the job for 4 months.
So I never really had a feasible chance in the first place - more chance of Britney winning Mum of the Year...
What a waste of time and energy that turned out to be.
Seriously, what's the point in advertising and going through the whole interview hoo-ha if you have no intention of actually considering anyone other than the person you've already given the job to?
sux.
big time.
not happy.
gie's a job!
Surprise surprise it went to... the internal candidate.
Who's already been doing the job for 4 months.
So I never really had a feasible chance in the first place - more chance of Britney winning Mum of the Year...
What a waste of time and energy that turned out to be.
Seriously, what's the point in advertising and going through the whole interview hoo-ha if you have no intention of actually considering anyone other than the person you've already given the job to?
sux.
big time.
not happy.
gie's a job!
Sunday 5 August 2007
* hahahaha!
...
we were sitting watching telly the other morning, maybe about 10.30am and all of a sudden a pidgeon flew into the wall outside!
Not the window, oh no he missed that by a fair old stretch, he actually flew into the dividing wall between the right and middle windows!
#thump# and fall!
by the time we had finished laughing and got up to have a look, we realised that we couldn't see where he would have fallen anyway, but when we went out a bit later on there was no body or clump of feathers, so he didn't die or get caught by any of the neighbourhood cats or foxes or ned children or anything; he probably did the pidgeon equivalent of getting up and walking/flying away like he meant to do it...
weird entry this one, but trust me, it was hilarious!
we were sitting watching telly the other morning, maybe about 10.30am and all of a sudden a pidgeon flew into the wall outside!
Not the window, oh no he missed that by a fair old stretch, he actually flew into the dividing wall between the right and middle windows!
#thump# and fall!
by the time we had finished laughing and got up to have a look, we realised that we couldn't see where he would have fallen anyway, but when we went out a bit later on there was no body or clump of feathers, so he didn't die or get caught by any of the neighbourhood cats or foxes or ned children or anything; he probably did the pidgeon equivalent of getting up and walking/flying away like he meant to do it...
weird entry this one, but trust me, it was hilarious!
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