...
so I'm now into my second full week of being back in full-time employment.
And although I was really good over the summer and didn't have great big long lie-ins until the afternoon or spend all day drinking and play-station-ing or blogging and got up at my normal time, I'm still utterly exhausted.
I think it comes from the fact that I've not been very active over the summer - now I'm walking to and from bus-stops and my job sees me running around a fair bit, too - plus, I'm learning and taking things in and having to make decisions and look after people and remember to eat and drink during the day...
my brain and body are out of shape...
I'm not even properly doing housework, let alone blogging!
Once things settle down again and my internet access at work is finished, I'll be able to do this properly again - I can blog in Word and email it home and post it at night... I certainly have plenty to ponder on...
Monday 29 October 2007
Thursday 11 October 2007
* Shocked by the Power and Stalked by the Spider
…
On Saturday, me and Hobbes joined my Mum, eldest Auntie and my sister for a wee girlie day out.
We went to the Glasgow Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum for its very first guest exhibition since reopening last year – and it couldn’t have picked a better one to start with…
http://www.glasgowmuseums.com/assets/fileStore/KYLIE_leaflet.pdf
“KYLIE: THE EXHIBITION
The exhibition explores Kylie Minogue as a popular icon and international performer. Featuring costumes, accessories, photographs and awards, sound and video, the exhibition looks at Kylie's career and changing image.
KYLIE: THE EXHIBITION also gives some insight into how a major international tour develops - from initial concept to first live performance.
200 objects including 45 costumes and 60 photographs are on display, from the overalls Kylie wore as Charlene in Neighbours and the gold lame hotpants she wore in her Spinning Around video in 2000 to costumes from her latest Kylie Showgirl: Homcoming Tour.”
[The above text was copied and pasted directly and without editing from the Glasgow.gov.uk Museums section.
Hilariously, it reads
“Lame” (laim) as in ‘pathetic’
… Rather then
“Lamé” (lah-mmay) as in ‘sparkly’
AND
It reads “hom-coming”, which given her legendary gay following is quite an interesting typo...]
Now, the obvious thing to say is just how small the stuff is, in both height and width – this is one seriously teeny tiny woman; any Barbie-doll-type action figure would not be a kick in the gold lame hotpants off actual size.
The costumes are really interesting – it’s always surprising how much detail and construction goes into costumes that are generally only seen from a distance or on TV, and it’s always funny to see ‘mechanics’ overalls looking so clean and false-patched-up, and to see the ‘Kids’ video where Robbie Williams was the higher paid ‘star’ helping out poor wee re-launching Kylie…
But weirdly enough, the most disappointing part of the whole thing is… how tacky and cheap some of the awards are.
The MTV Astronaut award thingy just looks like something my 5-year-old niece would knock up in day-care – it’s utterly tin-foil-hastily-wrapped-round-an-ornament-for-a-school-play…
And ironically, the best part wasn’t even directly a part of the exhibition.
Kelvingrove has a working pipe organ, and there are sometimes recitals when the museum is open.
This truly is a magnificent instrument; it’s beautiful and intricate and resonates throughout the building and when you are in the main hall itself when it’s being played you can actually feel it resonate through your very being.
We had not long arrived and noticed that the day’s recital was due to start in a few moments, so we decided to hold off going downstairs to the Kylie exhibition so that we could hear the start of it.
Giggling, I mentioned to the girls about how if he didn’t play “I Should Be So Lucky” (Kylie’s first hit) or “Can’t Get You Out Of My Head” (her biggest hit) then I would be gutted, and we all have a bit of a smile and a chat at how funny that would be.
So off the organist goes, beautiful, deep sounds soon filling the halls and our hearts: this is the first time we’ve heard the organ since the reopening and refurbishment.
Only… slowly it dawns on us just what we are listening to…
Waltzing Mathilda
And…
The theme tune from Neighbours (Kylie’s breakthrough TV show)
And…
I Should Be So Lucky!!!!!
On a massive magnificent pipe organ!!!
Truly, a most commendable stroke of good-humoured genius.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x
Now, the night before, I had had a bit of a headache and went to bed just after 10pm, leaving Calvin and Hobbes watching whatever was on TV.
About 15 minutes later, I had an awareness that something was going on: the living room door was opened and I could hear them talking and I heard someone rummaging about in a kitchen cupboard and the front door being unlocked and opened and closed and relocked.
Knowing Calvin, I decided that there must be a spider in the living room, and as I hate the creepy little uninvited guests [I don’t even like looking at pictures of them let alone having them in the house] he had done his usual thing of getting a cup from the kitchen, scooping the little bugger up, and throwing it out of the front door; death is only used in extreme cases (or if I get to them first).
So I turned over and went back to sleep.
Except…
Calvin came to bed about 15 minutes later, and me being me, I woke up at the sound and movement of this.
He then proceeds to tell me about the spider incident.
Yes, there had been a spider.
Yes, it was in the living room, marching across the floor right in front of the telly like it owned the bliddy place.
No, this was no ordinary retrieve and release operation.
The initial noise and movement that I had heard was actually Hobbes (who is not overly bothered by spiders) leaping up and running into her bedroom and shutting the door until it was safe to come back out, freaked out by the fact that this was – and I quote Calvin, man of a thousand spider-removal-exercises –
“the biggest effing spider I’ve ever seen”.
And he’s done a fair amount of travelling and outdoorsy stuff to know what he’s talking about.
Calvin had initially got a cup to scoop it up in.
The cup wasn’t big enough.
He had to get a JUG to fit this thing in.
And even then he couldn’t scoop it up – once he had put the jug over it, he had to get a bit of paper and slide it underneath to get the d@mn thing in.
Ooh, I am starting to itch just thinking about this…
In the morning, he showed me which jug he had used… the circumference of which is about 14 inches… so this THING, toes-to-toes, covered a circle of 14 inches…!
Seriously, draw a circle or find something that’s 14 inches round.
THAT’S FRIGGIN' HUUUUUUUGE for an in-the-house spider in the city of Glasgow…!
And then he tells me that it wasn’t just all legs… a fair proportion of this beast was body – he could make out a fair amount of detail and hair and maybe even fangs…
So this thing is immediately given the nickname ‘The Spider Of Death’.
I check and double and triple check with Calvin that it wasn’t actually an escaped exotic pet or a tropical asylum seeker that hitched a ride with the bananas into the supermarket – he maintains it was just a big old bugger, nothing unusual or special (yeah, right…)
Only now, I am becoming slightly obsessed by the fact that...
... HE SET THIS THING FREE.
The Spider Of Death could still be out there, somewhere, in my garden, in the garage, at my door, at my window, waiting for the chance to come back into the warm and dry and telly.
It could be watching me, waiting, just waiting, knowing that every new movement, every new web I see, I experience a momentary flurry of panic that The Spider Of Death has returned to claim as its own the house, the telly, everything, everything covered in its creepy crawly sticky icky web of hate and death.
Or…
It was most likely eaten by a bird or a squirrel or a fox within 12 hours of being forcibly evicted by Calvin.
I know which scenario I prefer…
On Saturday, me and Hobbes joined my Mum, eldest Auntie and my sister for a wee girlie day out.
We went to the Glasgow Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum for its very first guest exhibition since reopening last year – and it couldn’t have picked a better one to start with…
http://www.glasgowmuseums.com/assets/fileStore/KYLIE_leaflet.pdf
“KYLIE: THE EXHIBITION
The exhibition explores Kylie Minogue as a popular icon and international performer. Featuring costumes, accessories, photographs and awards, sound and video, the exhibition looks at Kylie's career and changing image.
KYLIE: THE EXHIBITION also gives some insight into how a major international tour develops - from initial concept to first live performance.
200 objects including 45 costumes and 60 photographs are on display, from the overalls Kylie wore as Charlene in Neighbours and the gold lame hotpants she wore in her Spinning Around video in 2000 to costumes from her latest Kylie Showgirl: Homcoming Tour.”
[The above text was copied and pasted directly and without editing from the Glasgow.gov.uk Museums section.
Hilariously, it reads
“Lame” (laim) as in ‘pathetic’
… Rather then
“Lamé” (lah-mmay) as in ‘sparkly’
AND
It reads “hom-coming”, which given her legendary gay following is quite an interesting typo...]
Now, the obvious thing to say is just how small the stuff is, in both height and width – this is one seriously teeny tiny woman; any Barbie-doll-type action figure would not be a kick in the gold lame hotpants off actual size.
The costumes are really interesting – it’s always surprising how much detail and construction goes into costumes that are generally only seen from a distance or on TV, and it’s always funny to see ‘mechanics’ overalls looking so clean and false-patched-up, and to see the ‘Kids’ video where Robbie Williams was the higher paid ‘star’ helping out poor wee re-launching Kylie…
But weirdly enough, the most disappointing part of the whole thing is… how tacky and cheap some of the awards are.
The MTV Astronaut award thingy just looks like something my 5-year-old niece would knock up in day-care – it’s utterly tin-foil-hastily-wrapped-round-an-ornament-for-a-school-play…
And ironically, the best part wasn’t even directly a part of the exhibition.
Kelvingrove has a working pipe organ, and there are sometimes recitals when the museum is open.
This truly is a magnificent instrument; it’s beautiful and intricate and resonates throughout the building and when you are in the main hall itself when it’s being played you can actually feel it resonate through your very being.
We had not long arrived and noticed that the day’s recital was due to start in a few moments, so we decided to hold off going downstairs to the Kylie exhibition so that we could hear the start of it.
Giggling, I mentioned to the girls about how if he didn’t play “I Should Be So Lucky” (Kylie’s first hit) or “Can’t Get You Out Of My Head” (her biggest hit) then I would be gutted, and we all have a bit of a smile and a chat at how funny that would be.
So off the organist goes, beautiful, deep sounds soon filling the halls and our hearts: this is the first time we’ve heard the organ since the reopening and refurbishment.
Only… slowly it dawns on us just what we are listening to…
Waltzing Mathilda
And…
The theme tune from Neighbours (Kylie’s breakthrough TV show)
And…
I Should Be So Lucky!!!!!
On a massive magnificent pipe organ!!!
Truly, a most commendable stroke of good-humoured genius.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x
Now, the night before, I had had a bit of a headache and went to bed just after 10pm, leaving Calvin and Hobbes watching whatever was on TV.
About 15 minutes later, I had an awareness that something was going on: the living room door was opened and I could hear them talking and I heard someone rummaging about in a kitchen cupboard and the front door being unlocked and opened and closed and relocked.
Knowing Calvin, I decided that there must be a spider in the living room, and as I hate the creepy little uninvited guests [I don’t even like looking at pictures of them let alone having them in the house] he had done his usual thing of getting a cup from the kitchen, scooping the little bugger up, and throwing it out of the front door; death is only used in extreme cases (or if I get to them first).
So I turned over and went back to sleep.
Except…
Calvin came to bed about 15 minutes later, and me being me, I woke up at the sound and movement of this.
He then proceeds to tell me about the spider incident.
Yes, there had been a spider.
Yes, it was in the living room, marching across the floor right in front of the telly like it owned the bliddy place.
No, this was no ordinary retrieve and release operation.
The initial noise and movement that I had heard was actually Hobbes (who is not overly bothered by spiders) leaping up and running into her bedroom and shutting the door until it was safe to come back out, freaked out by the fact that this was – and I quote Calvin, man of a thousand spider-removal-exercises –
“the biggest effing spider I’ve ever seen”.
And he’s done a fair amount of travelling and outdoorsy stuff to know what he’s talking about.
Calvin had initially got a cup to scoop it up in.
The cup wasn’t big enough.
He had to get a JUG to fit this thing in.
And even then he couldn’t scoop it up – once he had put the jug over it, he had to get a bit of paper and slide it underneath to get the d@mn thing in.
Ooh, I am starting to itch just thinking about this…
In the morning, he showed me which jug he had used… the circumference of which is about 14 inches… so this THING, toes-to-toes, covered a circle of 14 inches…!
Seriously, draw a circle or find something that’s 14 inches round.
THAT’S FRIGGIN' HUUUUUUUGE for an in-the-house spider in the city of Glasgow…!
And then he tells me that it wasn’t just all legs… a fair proportion of this beast was body – he could make out a fair amount of detail and hair and maybe even fangs…
So this thing is immediately given the nickname ‘The Spider Of Death’.
I check and double and triple check with Calvin that it wasn’t actually an escaped exotic pet or a tropical asylum seeker that hitched a ride with the bananas into the supermarket – he maintains it was just a big old bugger, nothing unusual or special (yeah, right…)
Only now, I am becoming slightly obsessed by the fact that...
... HE SET THIS THING FREE.
The Spider Of Death could still be out there, somewhere, in my garden, in the garage, at my door, at my window, waiting for the chance to come back into the warm and dry and telly.
It could be watching me, waiting, just waiting, knowing that every new movement, every new web I see, I experience a momentary flurry of panic that The Spider Of Death has returned to claim as its own the house, the telly, everything, everything covered in its creepy crawly sticky icky web of hate and death.
Or…
It was most likely eaten by a bird or a squirrel or a fox within 12 hours of being forcibly evicted by Calvin.
I know which scenario I prefer…
Monday 8 October 2007
* the bestest possible update
...
so yesterday was my birthday (yeah yeah, 21 again... )
And despite me telling people that I didn't want or need anything and just a card and their company would be perfect as it was all about presence and not presents, I was just spoiled rotten...!
Hobbes got me the Tenacious D movie - yay!
My wee sister got me a cowprint phone that moos instead of ringing as well as loads of other cool stuff
Via my sister and my Mum, my US rellies got me Absolut Disco - a bottle of Absolut vodka with a bottle cover made of disco ball (seriously!)
My Mum and Dad and auntie M got me money (always good)
plus there are other cards in the post which haven't arrived yet because of the postal strike
And
Calvin, knowing about my ipod disaster
http://pumpkinspider.blogspot.com/2007/09/self-pity-self-destruct.html
and fed-up with me going on about how I can't get his Monolith to work right and how I missed my own wee ipod and could he get me the charger for my mini-disc down out of the box in the loft...
Got my a brand new ipod nano video...!
And it's the lovely red one, too...!
And holy cr@p, it's just amazing - it's wee and shiny and the quality is unbelievable and oooooh...!
and...
he got me a proper arm-band doohickey to put it in for when I'm out on a plod... hint hint...
:-)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAND
I've got a new job and go back to work next week...!
:-D
If I may be so bold as to quote Ren and Stimpy...
happy happy joy joy, happy happy joy joy,
happy happy joy joy, happy happy joy joy,
happy happy joy joy, happy happy joy joy,
happy happy joy joy joy...!
so yesterday was my birthday (yeah yeah, 21 again... )
And despite me telling people that I didn't want or need anything and just a card and their company would be perfect as it was all about presence and not presents, I was just spoiled rotten...!
Hobbes got me the Tenacious D movie - yay!
My wee sister got me a cowprint phone that moos instead of ringing as well as loads of other cool stuff
Via my sister and my Mum, my US rellies got me Absolut Disco - a bottle of Absolut vodka with a bottle cover made of disco ball (seriously!)
My Mum and Dad and auntie M got me money (always good)
plus there are other cards in the post which haven't arrived yet because of the postal strike
And
Calvin, knowing about my ipod disaster
http://pumpkinspider.blogspot.com/2007/09/self-pity-self-destruct.html
and fed-up with me going on about how I can't get his Monolith to work right and how I missed my own wee ipod and could he get me the charger for my mini-disc down out of the box in the loft...
Got my a brand new ipod nano video...!
And it's the lovely red one, too...!
And holy cr@p, it's just amazing - it's wee and shiny and the quality is unbelievable and oooooh...!
and...
he got me a proper arm-band doohickey to put it in for when I'm out on a plod... hint hint...
:-)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAND
I've got a new job and go back to work next week...!
:-D
If I may be so bold as to quote Ren and Stimpy...
happy happy joy joy, happy happy joy joy,
happy happy joy joy, happy happy joy joy,
happy happy joy joy, happy happy joy joy,
happy happy joy joy joy...!
Thursday 4 October 2007
* wtf??? Leapfrogging mayor bruises tomato???
...
OK, so this was the headline on the main page of the BBC website:
"Leapfrogging mayor injures woman dressed as tomato"
HOW COULD I NOT LOOK...?
And this was the story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/7026851.stm
The whole thing is pretty funny in and of itself, but honestly, when you start to ACTUALLY think about the reality of the situation...
what does it say about the details of the incident and the injuries in her medical notes and her sick line from the doctor...?
what does it say in the accident book for her work...?
what does it say on the insurance claim form...?
what will the report from Health and Safety say...?
how much does she love her job, when she gets to dress up in ridiculous rather than glamorous outfits and get assaulted (a-salted?) (sorry) by minor dignitaries, leading to long-term absence, back injury, and humiliation on a world-wide scale thanks to the report of the whole thing appearing on the Internet...?
And possibly most importantly...
how does anyone involved with this keep a straight face...?!
OK, so this was the headline on the main page of the BBC website:
"Leapfrogging mayor injures woman dressed as tomato"
HOW COULD I NOT LOOK...?
And this was the story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/7026851.stm
The whole thing is pretty funny in and of itself, but honestly, when you start to ACTUALLY think about the reality of the situation...
what does it say about the details of the incident and the injuries in her medical notes and her sick line from the doctor...?
what does it say in the accident book for her work...?
what does it say on the insurance claim form...?
what will the report from Health and Safety say...?
how much does she love her job, when she gets to dress up in ridiculous rather than glamorous outfits and get assaulted (a-salted?) (sorry) by minor dignitaries, leading to long-term absence, back injury, and humiliation on a world-wide scale thanks to the report of the whole thing appearing on the Internet...?
And possibly most importantly...
how does anyone involved with this keep a straight face...?!
Tuesday 2 October 2007
* belly-aching carefullness
...
With regards to this article:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/south_east/7020936.stm
The summary and main points of it for me are:
"An art student who fears she was almost killed by her belly button stud in a car accident has warned about the potential dangers of body piercings. Jessica Collins' seatbelt forced the stud through her stomach almost to her spine in the crash in Munich. "
"...The lap belt has pulled so tightly that the front part of her waist was pushed up against her spine... The doctor... was fascinated from a medical point of view. He'd never seen anything like it before."
""It was a freak accident. I can't say I've ever heard of anything like this before, but for a decorative bit of jewellery, it's not worth the risk." "
For me, the key words here are FREAK ACCIDENT!!!
They admit themselves that the doctor had never seen anything like before, and I'll bet very few of us have ever seen or heard or thought about it happening before now.
I'd even go so far as to say that if it really was a real risk or if it did happen on a regular basis that it would be making the news more often, and we’d all have heard about someone who knows someone who totally had it happen to them…
AND
It would be one of those parental urban legend type warnings that are doled out as part of disapproval, along the lines of "you'll catch cold" and "you’ll get hurt” and “you’ll take someone’s eye out” and “you'll go blind"...
So I guess that if we are using the possibility of a freak accident as a basis for never doing stuff, just in case…
Then…
* Steve Irwin's freak accidental death means we can never swim in the ocean again, just in case...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/5311298.stm
* All drills should be banned, just in case... http://www.snopes.com/horrors/techno/drillbit.asp
* Fire hydrants should be removed from the streets, just in case...
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/hydrant.asp
* Molasses and beer should be banned, just in case...
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/molasses.asp
And
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/beer.asp
* Playing cards should be banned, just in case...
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/kogut.asp
* Laughing should be banned, just in case
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/laughing.asp
OK, so I’m taking it to extremes, but you get the point: you can take all the care in the world, but you just can’t legislate against plain old bad luck (you know, special circumstances and being in the right or wrong time and place).
I just can’t help but think that, yes, this girl’s intentions were basically good (publicising an unknown or little known risk)
But
It is such a REMOTE risk that other, more serious risks associated with piercing could be getting ignored:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/1748579.stm
I’m pretty sure that “you might be in a car crash where your belly piercing gets pushed into your stomach like a bullet” is going to be pretty far down any list of possible piercing problems…
* link to wee YouTube animation, and French Freedom thoughts
...
found this quite by chance and it's pretty sweet and funny
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4cP2oy4ebE
aren't people clever for coming up with and then actually creating this stuff?
It also made me remember my wee observation from the Rugby World Cup games this weekend - the neutrals (people attending the game not affiliated with either competing side) have been really good at supporting the underdog all tournament.
This meant that in Sunday's South Africa v USA game, there was a load of cheering for the 'minnows' - the USA.
Which meant that there was a load of French people cheering on the USA.
Wonder if they were serving Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast and doing any Freedom Kissing at that game...?
}:->
...
found this quite by chance and it's pretty sweet and funny
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4cP2oy4ebE
aren't people clever for coming up with and then actually creating this stuff?
It also made me remember my wee observation from the Rugby World Cup games this weekend - the neutrals (people attending the game not affiliated with either competing side) have been really good at supporting the underdog all tournament.
This meant that in Sunday's South Africa v USA game, there was a load of cheering for the 'minnows' - the USA.
Which meant that there was a load of French people cheering on the USA.
Wonder if they were serving Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast and doing any Freedom Kissing at that game...?
}:->
...
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