Wednesday 19 September 2007

* Bland, James Bland... now improved as James Blond...

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I posted this on my brother's podcast comments this morning, but thought I would repeat it here, complete with link to the podcast itself...
http://spikenesmith.blogspot.com/2007/09/rage-machine-abortion-protests-jesus.html

enjoy...!

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I pretty much loathe the Bond franchise.

In the same way that everyone's favourite Dr Who is usually the one that they first discover on telly when they're growing up, I grew up in the "Roger Moore as James Bond" era...

Hooooo boy, talk about ruining it...

I just couldn't get my head round how an obviously sucking in his stomach and wearing a corset, orange skinned, eyebrow raising, creaky old codger

(a) Could be considered even remotely attractive to and have lots of indiscriminate s*x with any woman he wanted at any time, as all women instantly fell in love with him, even if they seemed like they didn’t like him at first

(b) Could be even remotely considered the best spy in the whole wide world when he always uses his real name and never uses disguises at any time and is not exactly in peak condition fitness-wise

(c) Could act anywhere near well enough to make me suspend my belief sufficiently to think he was actually anywhere near any of the stunts let alone the character actually doing them

So this pretty much tainted my opinion of James Bond - even watching any of the other major franchise ones (big Seen Canary, Prince Barron off of Flash Gordon, or Remington Steele) just seemed like variations on the same old boring 'suave and sophisticated, women want him, men want to be him' theme.

BUT...

The most recent Bond is completely different.

For the first time, the character actually looks like he would keep up in a chase, and would give a pretty decent account of himself in a good old square-go, without resorting to 'ok now just pretend it's really still him' stunt trickery and editing.

The character makes mistakes, gets into bother, and seems like he would do WHATEVER it takes to get the result.

The methods are now the same - the only remaining difference between the good guys and the bad guys is what they are fighting for/ what they believe in.

Isn't that pretty much true to life these days, where one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter is another man's occupying peace-keeping dictator-toppling force...?

Even the stunts, cars, and gadgets seem more realistic – to the extent that I’m sure I heard men weeping in the cinema when he totalled the car… and we’ve all seen ‘parcour’ and free-running to know that the opening sequence is feasibly within the realms of the possible.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is – forget about all previous Bonds.

Wipe the slate clean, and see this one.

Give it a go, and only then compare it to other movies, Bond or otherwise.

Trust me.


And I made my case without even mentioning the very good and strangely attractive actor that is Daniel Craig OR the tiny blue shorts…

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