* how is he not dead ??

...

Holy cr@p... check out any of the links at the bottom...

 

"Sixty pint beer binge leads to four-week hangover" - it's about a guy who drank an average of 15 pints a day over 4 days and then wondered why he wasn't feeling too well afterwards...

 

OK, so the links are just exactly the same story copied and pasted word for word onto various websites, but that means that a number of different places have picked it up and published it.

 

"60 pints -- roughly 35 litres -- of beer over a four day period"

 

Well, that's just great.

 

Aside from being a bit of a scientific and medical anomaly, this guy has also promoted - perpetuated - the worst image of Scotland.

 

Cuz, you know, it's not like anyone already thinks the Scots like a wee drink or 60...

 

Thanks for conforming to lazy stereotyping, mate - coming up next, an Englishman in a bowler hat will be Morris-dancing while drinking tea, and a Welshman will be coal-mining and singing in a male-voice-choir while eating leeks and fighting dragons...

 

 

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/afp/20070927/tod-health-alcohol-beer-offbeat-7f81b96_1.html

http://www.capetimes.co.za/?fArticleId=4055054

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/breakingnews/world/view_article.php?article_id=91248

http://www.physorg.com/news110136228.html

http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,22496963-5001021,00.html?from=mostpop

---

One email account is enough. Simplify your life by switching other accounts into Yahoo! Mail.

* NSFW - link to funny radio broadcast clip

* wheeze *

hilarious!

both the clip and the comments...!

best be careful with that webcam, Mr Nesmith...!

http://www.holymoly.co.uk/news/28/heatworld-news-presenter-goes-into-swearing-frenzy-live-on-air-1539.html

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

On 26/09/2007, Spike Nesmith wrote:

Webcam! At my desk! Just because!

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/spikes-show

--
s. =)

"I used to say some people make money and some make history - which is very funny until you find you can't afford to keep yourself alive." - Anthony H Wilson

* a bad pun and song to stick in your head

...
http://news.yahoo.com/s/time/20070926/wl_time/amsterdamdimstheredlights;_ylt=Ao8sQS2MhW.a_wr4fqx860kDW7oF

Aaaaaaaaaaaamsterdam!
Yoo don haff to poodon the reddd lite...




(sorry)

* I am NOT ashamed...

...
I found this article on MSN today.

Not only am I not ashamed about liking ANY of this stuff, I own... *thinks*... most of it, probably, and even have had the number 10 entry stuck in my head since reading about it.

http://entertainment.uk.msn.com/music/features/gallery.aspx?cp-documentid=6187028

Standing up for what you believe in is nothing to be ashamed of... even if it is the right to love cheesy music...

* Iguana know how this was done...

...

Another weird news story...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7007942.stm

*agog*

You KNOW you want to see pictures of that leg...

... I mean...
what kind of space did they have in there?
... how did he keep them alive for the whole journey??
... ...did it tickle...???

Those are the kind of things that really need to be answered... for me, anyway...

-x-

I must say, though - it does strike me as pretty damn funny that in the week of International Talk Like a Pirate day
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/

... there's a story about a man using his false leg (his 'peg leg', if you will) for smuggling items of value from the South Seas...

a-har har haaaaaaar...!

* Bland, James Bland... now improved as James Blond...

...
I posted this on my brother's podcast comments this morning, but thought I would repeat it here, complete with link to the podcast itself...
http://spikenesmith.blogspot.com/2007/09/rage-machine-abortion-protests-jesus.html

enjoy...!

...
I pretty much loathe the Bond franchise.

In the same way that everyone's favourite Dr Who is usually the one that they first discover on telly when they're growing up, I grew up in the "Roger Moore as James Bond" era...

Hooooo boy, talk about ruining it...

I just couldn't get my head round how an obviously sucking in his stomach and wearing a corset, orange skinned, eyebrow raising, creaky old codger

(a) Could be considered even remotely attractive to and have lots of indiscriminate s*x with any woman he wanted at any time, as all women instantly fell in love with him, even if they seemed like they didn’t like him at first

(b) Could be even remotely considered the best spy in the whole wide world when he always uses his real name and never uses disguises at any time and is not exactly in peak condition fitness-wise

(c) Could act anywhere near well enough to make me suspend my belief sufficiently to think he was actually anywhere near any of the stunts let alone the character actually doing them

So this pretty much tainted my opinion of James Bond - even watching any of the other major franchise ones (big Seen Canary, Prince Barron off of Flash Gordon, or Remington Steele) just seemed like variations on the same old boring 'suave and sophisticated, women want him, men want to be him' theme.

BUT...

The most recent Bond is completely different.

For the first time, the character actually looks like he would keep up in a chase, and would give a pretty decent account of himself in a good old square-go, without resorting to 'ok now just pretend it's really still him' stunt trickery and editing.

The character makes mistakes, gets into bother, and seems like he would do WHATEVER it takes to get the result.

The methods are now the same - the only remaining difference between the good guys and the bad guys is what they are fighting for/ what they believe in.

Isn't that pretty much true to life these days, where one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter is another man's occupying peace-keeping dictator-toppling force...?

Even the stunts, cars, and gadgets seem more realistic – to the extent that I’m sure I heard men weeping in the cinema when he totalled the car… and we’ve all seen ‘parcour’ and free-running to know that the opening sequence is feasibly within the realms of the possible.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is – forget about all previous Bonds.

Wipe the slate clean, and see this one.

Give it a go, and only then compare it to other movies, Bond or otherwise.

Trust me.


And I made my case without even mentioning the very good and strangely attractive actor that is Daniel Craig OR the tiny blue shorts…

* belieeeeeeeve...

...
Another urban legend, only this one is true:
http://www.snopes.com/science/dhmo.asp

What a guy...!

It reminds me of the Chris Morris "cake" fake drug sketch where he got celebrities to do anti-drug messages:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0GxUxKZdHk

So just how gullible we...?

Or is it more like the Emperor's new clothes, where we jump on bandwagons to look like we're concerned and doing the right thing to avoid the appearance that we don't care and/or don't get or understand it...

:-^

...

* tee hee pee

...
funniest. thing. ever.
again.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/afp/20070914/tod-eu-belgium-health-cancer-7f81b96_1.html
or
http://www.eubusiness.com/Health/1189778521.38

This is the official website of the statue, and it's just as funny:
http://www.manneken-pis.com/intro.html

* so when are you 'fat' and when are you 'curvy', exactly?

…
I’ve posted about this in 2 different places this week, so thought I should bring my comments on home, as it were.

When it comes to body shape, the Media wants to have it both ways.

On one hand they go on about the whole "size zero is too skinny, ooh it's dangerous and unnatural" stuff…

THEN

… They go on about stuff like how "huge" Britney Spears looked at the VMAs, publish article after article about celebrity cellulite and weight gain mocking how "bad" they look, week after week of fast weight-loss plans, etc in publications that can be seen and read by all ages.

On one page, curves are the new rock’n’roll and everyone loves ‘real’ women and how to dress to flatter your body shape.

2 pages later, it’s celebrity fat arse hilarity and lose half a stone by Friday.

Further in, it’s the agony aunt page full of problems with self-esteem and self-image.

Yea Gods, is it any wonder…?!

What we really need is protection from lazy and hypocritical media…!

Admittedly, Britney is no longer the well-toned high-energy dancer she once was.

And she was dressed like a cheap hooker left behind after the good ones have been bought up.

And she strolled through the routine like it was a warm-up or a rehearsal for the backing dancers.

She has, however, had 2 children.

And her tabloid-documented behaviour does not suggest a healthy lifestyle of nutrition and exercise.

BUT all of that aside…
Let’s be perfectly honest here – her body shape, compared to most women, wasn’t that bad.

Look round the office, out the window, look at those around you on the bus or train, around the mall, on the street (but don’t stare, that’s just scary)

Compare Britney’s shape to other women and I think you’ll find she’s on the healthy side of weighty.

So, can we say that she was ‘out-of-shape’? Yes.

Heavier than before? Yes.

Not as fit or toned as in previous years? Definitely.

But to describe her as fat, porky, hefty - Heck, that’s just mean and unhelpful.

What size are the people who made those comments…?
What are the rest of us supposed to feel?
If I was that ‘fat’, I’d be overjoyed…!

Wouldn’t it be great to have an honest, down-to-earth, real, objective, consistent media approach to comments on size?

And no, I can’t believe I’m actually defending Britney either…


Links to original comments:
The BBC ‘Have Your Say’ forum debate on banning under 16 size zero models http://newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/thread.jspa?messageID=3430285&start=405&tstart=0&&edition=1&ttl=20070914150242 Added: Friday, 14 September, 2007, 09:19 GMT 10:19 UK
This one is very rude http://www.holymoly.co.uk/g/corner/the-media-38191.html

* self-pity, self-destruct...?

...
So, last week Apple announced the revamp of the ipod nano and launched the ipod touch:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/6980451.stm

And because I have itunes, I got the email announcement and I also got a mail from Amazon about their pricing and release dates for all the new ipods


And all I can think is "...waaaaaaaaant one of eeeach...!"


I've always, always liked the wee matchbox sized Shuffle, although it did take me a while to get my head round the concept of not having full control of your music (you know, it... shuffles... that's what it does... and to be honest, I usually have my ipod on shuffle anyway...)

But I've always fancied one - small and light, ideal for commuting or for when I go out for a plod (I don't actually run or even jog all the way, plus those terms make it sound all proper and like I know what I'm doing... I just kind of plod along at various speeds for a while)

And the new nano plays videos and looks just gorgeous - all futuristic and sleek-looking and wee and 8gb

And as for the touch - oh mama, what's not to like... video, touch screen, browser, lovely lovely lovely...


And all I can think is "...waaaaaaaaant one of eeeach...!"


But I've got my wee pink ipod mini, it works fine - and I've also got a minidisk player, my phone has an mp3 player, and I've still got a tape walkman and Calvin has an mp3 player I can borrow, too.

I have NO NEED for any kind of new "plays music" doohickey, it's just want and greed for newness, pure and simple

So on the Saturday, I get ready to go out for one of my plods: trainers on, sweats on, hat to keep my hair out of my face, and running jacket, because it's kind of overcast and looks like it might spit, if not rain.

Now, I've already asked Mum the previous weekend if she has any suggestions about the pockets on my running jacket - they don't have a zip or a fastener or anything, and I'm concerned about things falling out when I'm able to run better and am focusing on that rather than on the pockets.

I've already tried the stick-on Velcro stuff, but it's so powerful that it sticks to itself and comes off the fabric.

The problem is finding a way to fasten the pocket without damaging the fabric or putting it at risk of tearing when the pocket is opened: we've not been able to come up with any real ideas to try and I'm just a wee plodder so it's not that much of a worry yet anyway.

Or is it...

I'm plodding along, 5 min brisk walk warm-up then run-walk-run-walk at 1 min intervals, and about 15 mins in, my ipod falls out of my pocket.

Now, it doesn't completely fall and hit the ground, the headphones acted like a bungee cord.

My poor wee ipod mini fell from my waist-high pocket to the height of my calf, got a wee bit of a jolt when the headphone lead ran out of slack and stopped it totally crashing to the ground, then the headphones jack popped out of the ipod and the thing fell at the very mostest 30cm/ 12inches.
And it fell onto its bottom, where its little protective rubber sleeve is thickest.

So I pick it up, reconnect the headphones, and keep going (surreptitiously glancing around to see if anyone saw my tragedy/stupidity)

It plays to the end of the track, and then freezes.

I stop and examine it, thinking that the jolt has damaged the headphones, you know, broken the wires or something.

But no - the ipod has stopped playing.

After a lot of clickwheel shenanigans, it moves on to the next track, but still won't play.
It's frozen, and the battery power is draining much faster than usual, especially since the d@mn thing isn't even playing!

So I keep on plodding, holding the silent thing in one hand and my house keys in the other (pocket problem confirmed, no music is one thing; locking yourself out of the house is a whooooole different thing...)

By the time I get home (a plod of about 5km in about 45mins, if you must know) the ipod is no longer frozen...

Instead, this is on the screen...

It has 'x's for eyes, that's never good...


There’s a website address underneath the icon, so I log on and go to the ipod itunes support site and look up what to do…

By now, my poor wee ipod is cycling between the dead ipod one, the start-up Apple one, and this one:

It’s not charging at all, and it’s not showing up in itunes any more, either…

And no matter how often I try the advice on the support pages, it’s not working. It’s cycling through the icons and occasionally making a high-pitched beeping sound, like a lorry reversing far away…

So I guess my ipod is officially dead
#sniff#

Outside of trying a new battery (which will not be cheap and might not even work…) or getting it serviced (it’s a mini, it’s obsolete, it’ll cost just to get someone to look at it let alone fix it…) my wee ipod has passed on…

I’ve looked on ebay, and mini’s are going for a minimum of about £50… Amazon are selling the new nano for £130… which would be brand new, fully supported, and come with a warranty… even the old nanos are aren’t much cheaper than that…

So this is what I’m wondering – isn’t the timing of the whole thing just a little bit interesting…?

My ipod didn’t fall from a great height: it’s fallen from higher off the couch onto the hardwood floor and didn’t have a headphone bungee cord that time, so what was so different about this fall that Donald-Ducked it once and for all..?

Did my wee ipod know I was ogling other models and commit suicide?

Did it give up the ghost when it realised it was old and past it and there were newer better options available from within its very own family?

Or, even more sinister…

Was there something in the most recent itunes update that programmed the oldest ipods to die when the new ones came out, so that they would HAVE to be replaced…?!

Creepy, huh...?

The only thing I can be sure of is that from here on in, whatever I use to play music while I go for a plod, I’ll put it in my wee zip-up-able armband thing…

* unfortunately we regret blah blah blah

...
So obviously having been unemployed and job-hunting since the end of June this year, I've had a fair few pieces of correspondence thanking me for my application for whatever position it was however on this occasion I have not been successful (sometimes they give a reason along the lines of the recruiter having had a large volume of applicants and there being more qualified/suitable candidates than me) and they thank me for my interest and hope this will not discourage me from applying to them again in the future blah blah blah blah blah...

See what I did there? I have had so many of these I can now write them myself! If it's a thin letter then it's a rejection, invites to interview are generally done by phone or by thicker letter containing stuff like additional forms, instructions, directions, etc.

Wish I had the guts to try something like this, though - just to see if it works or at least to see what reaction it got...
http://www.snopes.com/college/admin/rejection.asp

* I used the word "tickled" in a blog comments field!

...

http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/09/osama-placebo.html#comment-82028645

Honestly, I can't recommend the Dilbert blog enough.

Scott Adams is managing to be funny and intelligent on a daily basis; I know people where you're lucky if they're either of those once a week...